JESUS OLDMAN
Alternative New York, NY  USA http://jesusoldman.bandcamp.com
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Thank you!
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Updated.
My band are a bunch of cool guys, but they're also grumpy old men, and don't want me to talk about them... so I will respect their wishes. Pretty much, they're my pals and they help me out, my 'house band' if you will... I have a homepage, that would be, Jesus Oldman Headquarters: I do all kinds of musical styles... I figured calling myself "Alternative" was the closest thing to 'Assorted Styles', kind of rock, kind of pop, always alternative, 'cause I invent my own formats basically, sometimes r & b, sometimes country, sometimes, who knows... anyway, I've been doing this music thing so long, it's all fair game, and I'll do 'crossover' this way and that, while trying to remain true, to whatever given genre I'm swimming in that particular day.
Band/artist history
We time travel a lot, so this is a confusing question to answer, your yesterday may be our tomorrow, let's skip this one... More? I feel duty bound to be serious after I'm a flippant idiot. Yeah, we all have a history, who doesn't. Maybe we don't wanna always talk about it. What can I tell you all? Music is who we are, and music is what we do, and, no matter what kind of day the universe may throw at us, we just tend to keep on making music... we're that way.
Have you performed in front of an audience?
I play dead. I'm pretty good at it. See me breathing? Not bad, huh. Okay, as you can see, I have a sense of humor, which, if you ask me, the older one gets, the more one needs one. More often than not, I am a Studio Cat, a pretty darn proficient one at that thank you very much indeed, but, perhaps one day, who knows.... might get a big ol' band together, take the Big Show On The Road... One never knows, do one.
Your musical influences
I'd say I used to be heavily influenced by drugs, but I'm old now, and I've kind of turned into an old fart, so, now... hmm... television... tea... (literal tea) ....uh, coffee.... food... ...oh, and pie, I like pie. Ladies & Gentlemen, I apologize. I really do. For being such a darn smartass. I know I am. I just have days like that. You ever have days like that? I just have days like that. I don't mean nothing untoward by it, it's just how I process stuff on some days, just come out the drainpipe being a darn smartass. My musical influences, well they go back, they go pretty far back, longer than many of you have even been walking around on the face of the earth wondering what's for lunch. History, it's what's for Dinner. As in, know your musical heritage... they say, for the best really great new ideas, go check all the old ideas. Sometimes, you do get a spark of creativity.... just, knowing, what's taken place before. Plus, you all do know, it's good to learn from past mistakes, that's why they say 'history, not understood, is doomed to repeat itself.' Me, I'm all for, making New History, And, Making Sure, History Moves Forward. Everything influences me. The Great Generation, is a big influence. They're called that, 'cause they had to rise and beat Hitler. 'Cause that guy was more than a handful. And, we did it. So, to me, that's what Make America Great Again, is all about. That We All, On This Day, And On Every Day, Rise Collectively, To Make This Our Home, All of our home. You get it?
What equipment do you use?
My own. Not like I'm knocked over with offers these days. The serious answer? I'm really not one of these guys who likes to rattle off what he uses. I think that's lame as day old beer some poor slob left on his table, and now he's drinkin' it anyway. Old beer has a place it belongs. Down the drain. Now, it does so happen, I don't drink alcohol anymore, two years sober and counting. But if I still DID drink beer, it'd be Sam Adams. And it would be, a fresh one. That is not a commercial for Samuel Adams Beer, which did not pay me for that, I just like an American Original. And, I try to be one. An American Original. Not a beer. Beer's fine. So's wine. I do like me some soda though. And yeah, the rumors are true: Jesus Does Prefer Coca Cola. Sorry, Pepsi. If it makes you feel any better, I am from Your Generation, that's why I Came Alive. There you go. And there I go. Oh. My equipment, I go off on a tangent, don't I. I do a lot with a little, let's put it that way.
Anything else?
Anything goes here? How much wood, WOULD a wood chuck chuck, if indeed, a woodchuck, could be bothered, chucking wood, furthermore, what kind of wood would it be, and where would he (assuming it was a he) be chucking it to. And, to whom? Is there another woodchuck waiting to catch, said wood? What's going on here anyway? Okay, and once again please Mr Oldman, The serious answer for those of us who may be curious, after all, what you might have to say, having lived the colorful lives you've lived... Well Folks... I'm gonna start it off here. Believe In Yourself. Do That First. If you have a dream, great. Have a dream. Have a great dream. Have a lofty dream. Have a Great and Lofty Dream and Dream As Big As Your Imagination Dares To Dream... but first, Believe In Yourself. How do you do that? Oh that's the easy part! You just tell every tape recording in your head that every idiot ever said to you, that is telling you to not believe in yourself, this: You tell those idiots, "Hey. Here, Hold This. It's a big ol' Red Balloon! Hold It, and try not to fly away now. I'm just kidding. Fly away. Fly away right now." That's it. You say THAT. To yourself. And then, you discover, for real, almost like magic, that you CAN Believe In Yourself. Folks, Do You Have ANY IDEA How Amazing The Worldwide Transformation Would Be, if suddenly, everyone got it in their head at last, "HEY! I CAN BE WHAT I WANNA BE! I REALLY CAN. There is NOTHING STOPPING ME, but old outdated information! THIS IS GREAT! Alert The Media!" It would, Overnight, be A Whole, New, World. Now that, is what I call, Making America Greater Than She's Ever Been Before. The Great Generation, Made, America Great. We Will Make America Great Again, and, in fact, you watch, and you help make it happen too... We Will, Make America Greater, Than She Has Ever, Been, Before. The World, All The World, Is Our Home. Take Care, Of Your Home. Kinda try to keep it, nice. You know?
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