'K, here's the thing. Adam Sandler, Tom Green, and Weird Al Yankovic are NOT THAT FUNNY. I , however, and if these guys can get famous, then so can I. As a special promotion for my first 500 fans, I will designate very high positions for you in my new world dominion once it's established.
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I was born about five hundred years ago near Alpha Centauri, in year 8033 of the new galactic empire, about fifty years before the Earth Project was established. My job has been to assume various human identities over the years while observing Earthers and maintaining the secrecy of the project. Among other things I've been an eighteenth century piano mover, a lesbian broadway singer in the 1960's, and am currently faking the identity of a really funny (and cute) budding gay comedy musician.
I occasionally perform on a secret space station orbiting the planet formerly known as Pluto, and a few other planes of consciousness. On Earth I sometimes play at Club Passim's open mic in Harvard Square Boston held on most Tuesday nights.
Monty Python, Weird Al Yankovic, Adam Sandler, Tom Green, Demetri Martin, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken, Dane Cook, Dr. Demento, South Park, Adult Swim, Family Guy, Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie, Throwing Toasters, Dude Where's My Car, Saturday Night Live, Mad TV, Donnie Darko, Douglas Adams, Rent, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Chris Rock, Will and Grace, Barney the Dinosaur
Acoustic guitar, M-Audio Omni PC four track recorder, Alesis QS8.1, peaches, plums, blue sharpies, ostrich intestines, diet snapple caps.
Terms and Conditions:
Use my songs exactly as prescribed. Do not increase your song dosage without consulting a comedian, and do not listen to any song more than 50 times in a given day, as this may lead to dependence. Do not put gun to head and pull trigger while listening, as this may lead to injury. Store mp3s at room temperature away from sunlight and nuclear power source. Songs contain less than 2% of calcium, iron, sodium acid sulfate, and diet snapple, and are not a significant source of draino or crystal meth.