Tonedeaf Jnr. was born into a family of travelling midgets back in 1963, which fortunately coincided with the craze in building roller-coasters. You see that sign that says 'No-one below 3' 6" allowed on this ride'? That's Tonedeaf Snr's work, that is. He rode just about every new coaster built since '64 to check how low a ride's permissions could go before it started launching the occupants out across the park. That's actually how Snr. met Mrs. Deaf. She was trimming her beard over by the caravans when Snr. came flying through the air, narrowly avoiding a mid-air collision with Busted Bone Billy - who was practising his human cannonball act - and landed on the fortune teller's tent, who luckily had seen him coming in more ways than one and had evacuated to the strongman's arms. It was a right circus, but thereafter - and especially when young Tonedeaf started blowing his horn in public - everyone said it must have been fate.

Tonedeaf is yet to play dead.

Tonedeaf once heard that both Charlie Parker and Stan Getz used to practice 8 hours a day. This amazes Tone, he gets by on 8 hours a month and who can tell the difference?

Tonedeaf was doing a spot of gardening earlier and used a trowel and his fingers. When he cleans the toilet he just uses the trowel.

Tonedeaf's ambition is to be a porn-star... touch wood.