Epitaxis is the fuckin' heaviest band in the history of heaviness, and most definitely, in the words of Venom, 'EVIL, IN LEAGUE WITH SATAN'... Grantham's only corpse-painted, blastbeating, baby-eating, Satan-fellating, masturbating, fucking, chucking, evilous, libellous, frivolous, cheerleader-raping, monkey dating BASTARDS FROM HELL!!!!
m/ m/ m/ m/ AS FUKK m/ m/ m/ m/
Epitaxis was born a long time ago when guitarist Louis "hitler youth pin up" Archer and TubThumper James "baby" Philips got together and belted out a few hardcore punk tunes before deciding punk was just for fags and death metal was for the real men, changing their name from fluffy surprise to Epitaxis they began working furiously on doubling the speed of all of their already written songs, before ditching them and writing even faster ones, after almost a year of being a two man band Chris "Camiel" McColin joined the ranks and Epitaxis started gigging around grantham before recording a rubbishy vocal free jam session using a computer mic some ingenious amp positioning and a minidisc player alone, after a short while longer Chris began to lose interest and left the band to join the now legendary Ska Punk gits Monkey Toast, for a long time epitaxis enlisted different bassists and vocalists but none stayed longer than a mere few practices until Matt Woods, who had previously growled for us at the black dog "im outside" fiasco!m/ asked to join us for a while on bass, at the first practice a god awful noise was emitted and epitaxis was reborn, practicing furiously to get together a new set quickly and writing new artful lyrics Epitaxis are now back with avengance and gigging, the latest album "Epitaxis Vs the Evil Nation of Emo" has recently been almost finished... samples of emo-hating evil bastard-metal are available here. ROCK'n'DEATH MUTHAFUCKERS.
We play live when Matt's home, we played one gig with this line-up and it was fuckin' spectacular. After the gig, at which we rocked the house, we had cocaine and lesbian floorshows. How rock'n'deathbastard is that??
Anal Cunt Napalm Death Extreme Noise Terror Zeke GG Allin Stormtroopers of Death SOD Slayer Caliban Haunted Dew-Scented Cannibal Corpse Deicide Chas'n'Muthafuckin'Dave
We use the bowels of hell, forged into, er, a guitar a bass and some drums, with amps and a PA system, usually.
If you know of any band eviller than us, we will gladly kick the fuck out of them and eat their kids, following this we'll batter you and use your teeth for making holes in virgins cunts to use in sacrificial rites to our horned lord. Oh yes.