When I was in primary school in Zimbabwe, I used to gather the kids around in the school yard at lunch time to sit on a giant tractor tyre.
I'd stand on one side of it with them in a semi circle on the other and sing Abba songs, ( the only songs I knew the words to)
The applause was addictive!
It was a rush that I wanted to have repeated again and again.
It fueled this naive dream whilst spending many hours singing into a hair brush in front of the mirror, that one day I'd be a famous singer/songwriter, with an even bigger audience and even more applause.
Now after all these years I am thirty nine years old, married with four kids.
I still write songs... inbetween loads of laundry and burning the dinner.
I'm not famous, I'm not rich, I don't have thousands of fans in the stadium screaming for an encore.
With todays measure of success which seems to be one which appears to incorporate these sorts of things...
- being "signed",
- material being played on mainstream commercial radio
- a substancial income from writing music
- a huge fan base who are interested in hearing more....
Well, I suppose I am "unsuccessful" as a singer/songwriter.
Does not having achieved that kind of "success" bother me?
No, not really, not now.
Would I like to make money from writing and singing?
Sure....I'd use that money to buy better equipment so I could continue to improve upon my material, but money and all those above things are not why I write songs.
It began, as a teenager, with a need to simply express my thoughts and feelings, and it has turned full circle after many years of trying to write what I felt was up to par with what was being played on commercial radio, back to... simply a need to express my thoughts and feelings.
I suppose I have turned away from wanting to please the music industry, to wanting to please myself.
I want to write songs about things that are a part of my reality, or in a lot of cases, my fantasy.
I figure much of what I experience , feel and laugh over or cry over is pretty much what a lot of other people can relate to, so I don't feel I am being selfish to whatever willing listening audience might be out there.
As far as the music business is concerned, from what I can see and hear, it's a pretty shallow industry that has little to do with the pool of creativity within those of us lucky enough to have the inspiration, and need, in which to express ourselves through music.
It's about money and illusion.
A sea of "beautiful people" performing banal cookie cutter tunes, one hit wonders in many cases.
And there is no shortage of those kind of puppet on a string "stars". Pop star idols, Country idols.....Rock idols....
As long as they have nice bits to shake and can somewhat hold a note.... (Not that in the recording business that that is even so important these days...)
Am I jaded?
I'd like to still have nice bits to shake...(they're all heading south these days.)
But there is more to people than their bits don't you think?
Much more fascinating bits anyway.
So that's why on my music page you will find a whole range of styles ...a very ecclectic mix of music and songs (all in various states of undress production wise.)
It's me, trying to get in touch with all my "bits".
I invite you to sit on this giant tractor tyre with me a while and let me sing for a bit.
You won't hear any Abba songs but I hope you will enjoy what you do hear.
I have performed in various covers, tribute and originals bands in the past.
I haven't performed in years, but I would like to again.
My music is mostly laid back and reflective but I can and sometimes do write in a broad range of styles.
I like all genres of music.
Yamaha Motif keyboard
RODE NT 1000 condensor mic.
TS-Racks for mastering
My husband - the sound engineer.
Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to comment on my message board.