LINEAGE OF "LIL FOET & FRIENDS"
Our story begins with
The Rubber Soles, a band who originally had a lot of success fornicating with their own bedsheets, failing college & getting beat up, more so than having any real success writing no.1 hits. They split up actually after an incident involving an idea to perform somewhat of a "Reverse or Inverse Tom Jones", where "The Rubber Soles" band members threw their underwear at the female audience (to thank them for their support). Unfortunately the drummers soiled projectile stuck to the face of the sheriff's mother who was standing in the mid-section right in the faecal trajectory. Unfortunately again for the Rubber Soles she was a who was there to investigate and ultimately confirm reports of this uncouth behaviour. Most of the spray painted her and wet the faces of the other members of the audience (some got a little bit in their mouth). The result is well documented in the media and one of the most unfortunate events in amateur entertainment.
This resulting breakup began a spinoff duo the "The Mahals", after the litigations were settled out of court. The Mahals went on to attempt a love song revival in Australia, failing miserably in the process by writing "Oz Girl" songs and spending their royalties on lap dances and greyhounds. There were also allegations of lap dances with other breeds as well, but thats another story altogether and probably only one of those urban myths. However in saying that, the original band members won't confirm or deny it which is strange. The Slugger from McMuttermullen; the other half of The Mahals duo went on to become like a millennial version of the Sheik of The Ponderosa and hasnt been seen since. There were however unreported sitings of him a few years ago trying to float into a restricted beach area in Abu Dhabi where there was a hen's party for the daughter of a political figure....the siting is still unconfirmed as the CCTV footage wasnt really clear if it was really him nude floating in the water or if it was a hairless boar carcass.
With a hunger still for music despite all these terrible events, The Reprobates were briefly spawned by Lil Foet until all members left that to form The Melis-matics. They realised after they formed the new band that they didnt actually leave the okd one as they were all sitting in the same room still, but in fact what they had done was simply change their name and now as a result had 3 band names and no music so it was seemingly pointless.
They are now famous on carnival tours in Southern South Albion and North of the Northern part of Northgate and also coincidentally famous for their Guinness Book registered largest confirmed case of imflammed haemorrhoids (attached to a living organism). Brendelt from The Meles-matics mentioned in a Rolling Stool interview with Jann Savaloy that his inflamations were caused by what he believed was the evil of the "digital age", as he like
many others spent eons on a leather chair, slaving over his computer mixing and overdubbing his records while rubbing down there continually. He also admitted, contravercially, that he could never actually sing a melisma (look it up), and in fact he didnt even know what one was despite his band being named after one. Notwithstanding any of this, no-one has ever heard any of their records really except Brendelts girlfriend, who fled to the Harvey Bay Area in San Candyco with a Swedish backpacker and IT guru Bjon Labette.
After she fled and he jumped off a bridge the other members started a side project called the Buford T's who got
A break and eventually got excited when they heard that they had a cult following in Thailand- so promptly as anyone would toured there. Families of the deceased band members remembered they were so ecstatic that they actually had fans! Unfortunately the cult followed them to Chang Mai and decapitated the (2) main songwriters. The other band members got the absolute shit beat out of them (refer to college days) and refuse to talk about it to this day.
What they did do was form a little outfit and became "Lil Foets & Friends", also otherwise known around the traps as "The Original Rubber Soles". That is the story of how a bland band of amateurs ended up the greatest musicians of all time (in our own minds but we like it).They, however,.....were always going to play again...... so just jammed and played some old blues and spoke shit until this might happen. Foetus 2008