LINEAGE OF "LIL FOET & FRIENDS AKA THE YOUNG JIMMY PAGES"
Our story begins with
The Rubber Soles, a band who had more success fornicating with their own bedsheets opposed to say playing music. They split up anyway after an incident involving an idea to perform somewhat of a "Reverse Tom Jones", where "The Rubber Sole" band members would throw their underwear at the female audience (To thank them for their support). Unfortunately the drummers soiled man-plumb bag stuck to the face of the guitarists mother who unfortunately was standing in the mid-section. Unfortunately she was a cop. Most of the spray impacted her and other members of the audience, the result is well documented in the media.
This resulting breakup began a spinoff duo the "The Mahals", after the litigations were over and the "Reverse Tom Jones" matter was settled out of court. The Mahals went on to attempt a love song revival in Australia, failing miserably in the process by writing anti "Down Under - New Holland" girl songs and spending their royalties on lap dances and greyhounds. Sometimes also allegations of lap dances with greyhounds and other similar breeds, but thats another story altogether and probably only one of those urban legends. The Slugger from McMuttermuller, the other half of The Mahals duo went on to become like a millennial version of the Sheik of Araby and hasnt been seen since. There were unreported sitings of him a few years ago trying to float into a restricted beach area where there was a hen's party for a Sudanese political figure....the siting is still unconfirmed and the CCTV footage wasnt really clear.
With a hunger still for music, The Reprobates were briefly spawned by Lil Foet until all members left to form The Melis-maticsThey realised after they formed they didnt actually leave as they all left, but they had simply changed their name one night when they were high.
They are now famous on carnival tours in Southern USA and also for their Guinness Book registered imflammed haemorrhoids. Brendelt from The Meles-matics mentioned in a Rolling Stone interview with Jann Wenner that his record breaking haemorrhoids were a direct result of the "digital age", where he spent eons unknowingly rubbing his rectile (sic) on a hard leather chair while at the computer mixing and overdubbing his records. He also admitted that he could never actually sing a melisma (look it up), and in fact he didnt know what one was but had thought the band had named themselves after a rare tumour. Notwithstanding any of this, no-one has ever heard their records really except Brendelts girlfriend, who fled to the Harvey Bay Area in San Fran Candyco.
After she fled other members started a side project called the Buford T's who eventually heard that they had a cult following in Thailand and subsequently toured there, ecstatic that they actually had fans! Unfortunately the cult followed them to Chang Mai and decapitated the (2) main songwriters. The other band members got the shit beat out of them and refuse to talk about it to this day.
What they did do was become "Lil Foets Friends", also known around the traps as "The Young Jimmy Page's" who, as we all know, went on to lead the skiffle renaissance, making the lost art form wildly popular again and putting a final nail in the coffin of gangsta rap. That is the story of how a bland band of amateurs ended up the greatest musicians of all time (in our own minds). The punters had said there will never be another Hendrix, there will never be another Garcia, there will never be another Beatles... until the Young Jimmy Pages took skiffle into the 21st century and created a hysteria that has made women dizzy at the mere site of their photos, or the sound of their washboard percussion. They, however,.....were never fully happy...... so just jammed and played some blues and pop instead and spoke shit.