I woke up- alone again, on the road again. I don’t need coffee anymore, I don’t need cigarettes, things that I thought are enough to have a wonderful morning before. What’s the world without tenderness, caress, natural feelings or initial love? A simple routine, a sign of a bloody hell or just a transition between life and death? And who are you gonna take this long journey with? Alone?... I turn on the computer. Open first my music player and load “ Have a little faith in me” by John Hiat… And here I am again, on the road again... What for? People are made to look for, find, give or just wander in the darkness searching their own happiness in the soul of a fellow human being. How could you understand if you meet the right person? If he or she is exactly in front of you but you are roaming, blind eyes can’t distinguish him or her? You may say…listen to your heart, it never lies…But how could you know if it’s more frustrated, confused or lost than every other part of your body? The music player stops. I load the same song again. And even I don’t need the fucking cigarettes and the fucking coffee, I take them with open arms, because I don’t have what to take in my arms… again. On the road again. Betrayed again… Sooner or later you make your choice…your choice forever …stimulated by the “sincere, truly” heart-breaking declaration of love from the side of your “lover”. You can mislead all the world around you saying whatever you want but you can never lie to yourself, your own soul… Words are nothing or almost nothing they can only express cursory positions or just stupid clichés repeated again and again….till the earth is turning. You waste your time, your life, your dignity, your gifts…your will to do something in this world, to experience your own unique life so as you feel any satisfaction. Here it is, the cigarette is over… again, the road is still so long… again… And I have the opportunity to buy a pack of cigarettes or to stop it forever. And I know that it doesn’t matter because I will be still alone… SATISFACTION! Is there someone making you smile, trying to calm you down when “the world is on your shoulders”? Understanding and trust? “Is that so much to ask for?”- I say. The music player stops again. I stop again. I always make that mistake, to stop just because someone disappears from my life forever, without saying goodbye. Finally I understand that things have changed, my positions are inverted. I am totally fond of a beautiful mirage created by my own consciousness- an ideal illusion absolutely pure and innocent but unreal… what a terrible dreamer I am, or a simple fool, lost her mind in her own insane imagination! ! ! Who says today “ Have a little faith in me? “ Do you?

My first touch with the beauty of music was when I was 13, thanks to an audio tape I accidentally ran across in the back yard of my living residence in my home town Elhovo. Apparently, someone had thought it useless. When I first listened to it I had no clue as to who that B.B. King fellow was. That he would later become one of my idols I was unaware at the time. Blues and later rock & roll grabbed such a hold of me that my stereo would play uninterruptedly for days, and I would go to every possible gig in town. A year before I finished high-school I was invited to sing with the local rock band Orenda (yes, it’s a small town and there was only one band). The atmosphere of the rehearsal room and the attitude towards making music became a constant part of what I am. After finishing high-school in 2005, I moved to Sofia to pursue college education. I didn’t know anybody in the capital city so I just stopped making music for a while. I’d get my fix of rock & roll in the local clubs. It’s in one of those that I met a jolly company of musicians who once dared me to sing a song with them on stage. I joined them and for the next two years we gigged under the band name Wail. Unfortunately, our ways parted in 2007 when the guys decided they’d earn their money by playing on an ocean cruiser. I couldn’t imagine how I’d be choking to death on Celine Dion tunes to the beastly wails of drunken tourists every night. Even I am not so selfless. So I stayed in Bulgaria. One lazy day I thought to myself, why not sign up for that musicians’ forum on the web. I immediately came upon the ad of some guitar-playing lad looking to start up a band. This very ad put together five total strangers who would become known as R.B. Amaranth. One of my personal best moments in music I shared with them. The end of 2010 marked a major turning point in my life. There comes a time when you realize you can’t just sit at the bottom waiting for someone to pull you up. You have to set your ass in motion and head for the surface on your own. Exactly what I did. I decided to start over again in every possible aspect of my life, including music. I left R.B. Amaranth, even though we’re still working together occasionally, and I embarked on a solo project. Let’s see where that’ll take me.