The true story; not that you DESERVE to hear it, but HERE:
Satanists in Love was two people, starting out literally just playing whatever one night, with The GZeus attacking things with his jutting, uncomfortable riffs and Sir Weeze wailing into a microphone, loosely related to what's usually refered to as "vocals". Therein, Satanists in Love became the first "jack-off jazz" band, recording "Lesbian Breakfast" in May of 2002. The album was best described by The GZeus: "You know when you're playing solitaire and, and you get like 2 moves in, and then you spend 10 minutes looking for another, knowing you won't find one? That's Satanists in Love." Nonetheless, the album spawned a completely ridiculous 81 tracks, none of which went longer than two minutes, sporting song titles such as "The Penis Inside the Pants", "Neil Young vs. Noseface", and "Big Old Shit", so it goes without saying that Satanists in Love we're more than slightly different than the rest of the schlock that's currently infesting the United States. They were a certain type of crap that was GOOD, yet bad, and all the way back to GOOD again, but not as good as the original good. If that makes sense. However, one can rest assured that Satansts in Love EMIT entertainment, like a street lamp post pours light into the 3 AM sky at Roseville Commons...

Speaking of which, after "Lesbian Breakfast", Satanists in Love unleashed a barrage of shows, all of which at the Roseville Commons in Roseville, Minnesota, most of the time in front of an audience of dead flies and bacteria saturating the concrete staircases connecting the two floors, with the occassional cop or random skaterdude stopping by to find out what the f*** we were doing. Satanists in Love (SaILo) refined their act throughout each of these shows, getting "better" and increasing the potency of their attack. It was somewhere between "5" and "F***ing Cold Show" that The GZeus and Sir Weeze were either simply replaced, or kidnapped and murdered, or evolved into, or bought out to sound like, or brutally beaten by drifters and whores into the shapes and personalities of Calpis Face and Christian Solo. Following this revelation, they went to go record "Trick Photography", despite that there's zero tricks, and zero photography. Recording that album, Fu Man Stan materialized from nothingness and brought his Casio, and is prominently featured on the album, along with Calpis Face's angular, disagreeable and afflictive riffs and Christian Solo's "David Lee Roth meets EyE from the Boredoms" vocals. A modest 50 tracks, this album still reeks of the SaILo sound, undoubtedly, despite the unintentional shift in focus towards keys.