I could make a dress,
a robe fit for a prince.
I could clothe a continent,
but i can't sew a stitch.

I can paint my face,
and stand very very still.
It's not very practical,
but it still pays the bills.

I can't change my name,
but I could be your type.
I can dance and win at games
like Backgammon and Life.

I used to be the smart one,
sharp as a tack.
Funny 'bout how skipping years ahead
has held me back.

I used to be the bright one,
top in my class.
Funny what they give you when you
just learn how to ask.

I can write a song,
but I can't sing in key.
I can play piano,
but I never learned to read.

I can't trap a mouse,
but I can pet a cat.
No, I'm really serious!
I'm really very good at that.

I can't fix a car,
but I can fix a flat.
I could fix a lot of things,
but I'd rather not get into that.

I used to be the bright one,
Smart as a whip.
Funny how you slip so far when
teachers don't keep track of it.

I used to be the tight one,
the perfect fit.
Funny how those compliments can
make you feel so full of it.

I can shuffle cut and deal,
but I can't draw a hand.
I can't draw a lot of things,
I hope you understand.
I'm not exceptionally shy,
but I've never had a man
that I could look straight in the eye
and tell my secret plans.

I can take a vow,
and I can wear a ring,
and I can make you promises,but
they won't mean a thing.

Can't you just do it for me? I'll pay you well.
F***, I'll pay y