HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the
seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as
California White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third language.


Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.


Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.


Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at
least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.


France pleads for global help after being taken over by
Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!


Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be
imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all
smoking.


George Z.H.W. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.


Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89
and reduces mail delivery to Tue. Wed. Thurs. only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key
to weight loss.


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third
consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.


Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast
shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.


Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States


Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is
selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on
Tuesdays and Fridays.


Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.


Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their
civil rights.


Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven
inches.


New federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by
January 2030


IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

--- Revenant