R.Willow's SoundClick page

I joined three Christian groups, two from which I was banned, one from which I exiled myself.

The reasons: One group I'd been an administrator of for quite some time. Enjoyed (or thought I did) the friendship of the owner of the site. We had hours of discussion both online and off. Many very personal discussions.

However, when the topic of abortion was breached I voiced my very strong anti-abortion opinions. Suddenly all ties with many (especially the owner) were broken. I was lambasted immediately by people who never said one unkind word to me for stating my opinion on abortion. I was called all sorts of names, like Neo-Nazi Right Wing Extremest! I'm of Jewish Heritage! Nazi? Yikes! And that was completely out of the blue. People I'd been friends with for years suddenly banned together and attacked me. Weird.

That was it. Over. I was out. I thought these were my loving brethren in the Lord, till I mentioned my anti-abortion stance. Apparently some "Christians" can only love those who agree with them.

Next. On another site where I was a paying customer, again I was banned. It was a membership website for Christian musicians. There I shared my views about homosexuality. The owner of the site closed my membership... kicked me out.

What did I say about homosexuality? I said, "I believe the scriptures including Jesus categorize it as fornication." I wouldn't recant that position and was verbally brutalized by the owner for that opinion.

Finally I was with another group of Christian Musicians. From this group I exiled myself. The reason: They kept editing things I said, so as to remove the intent of what I was saying. There was a strong bias in a certain direction and my opinion wasn't supported.

At first these things bothered me deeply. Mostly because I was vulnerable emotionally. I'd recenlty been through a lot, was living on the road, and, the forums where my only place of fellowship. So it hurt, I felt very alone and rejected.

I noticed too that, much of the traffic here on Soundclick came from the last forum. Because almost all my songs had previously been in the top 50. When I pulled them and re-posted them, new songs (and the re-posted) lagged dramatically. In addition people removed their comments and such. Ouch!

Oh well, that is the price of freedom of speech. I'm comfortable with it now. It hurt being rejected but, I'm better for it. Much learning and soul searching was resulted in those rejections. I'd rather be honest and left out then lie to belong. In the end the warmth of the truth within is a more comforting flame then belonging at the cost of integrity.

Additionally, God supplies new connections and support. In the interim where you feel abandoned, rejected, etc., you find that the Holy Spirit is true to the word of Jesus, a comforter.

PEACE,
RAY