The Hakkenkaufs
Cow-punk band with a heart of lead.
3
songs
124
plays
We're a band. No really.Band/artist history
The history of the Hakkenkaufs begins with our poor hero Kurt Klinger a.k.a. Not Goin’ to Jail Tonight Hakkenkauf.
Kurt showed up on a Greyhound in Austin, Tejas broke homeless and strung out on Sterno. Having no job, motivation, or life, he decided to put advertisements in the Austin Chronicle looking for band-mates. His first call for musicians brought no like-minded soldiers of misfortune because Kurt had accidentally filled out the form for the Chronicles’ personals. He was immediately beset by pleas from the lowliest of Austin’s scum. Lonely twelve year old boys.
Enter John. John for many years on the Internet has been posing as a pre-pubescent teen in order to lure senior citizens into signing over their Social Security checks. However he also plays guitarlike a muthaphucka. Once John realized that Kurt was not just another senile mark with a pension to steal, he decided to join our hapless hero in a joint musical endeavorneedless to say the van was rockin’John was immediately dubbed Phlegmy Hakkenkauf.
A couple of different drummers came and went. Some of them had local Austin notoriety some did not. However, the Hakkenkaufs did not feel complete until
Enter Tommy. Tommy G. Hakkenkauf is a cross-dressin’, trick-turnin, cop-killin’ on Friday nights for beer money kinda guy. He’s also punker than any of you could ever hope to be. Don’t believe me? Ask his other band, Austin’s legendary Bulemics. They’ve been trying to get him to tone down for years. Tommy came into his first audition and within five minutes, Kurt and John knew they had found their skin man. Presumably it was because Tommy showed up drunk and naked screaming incoherently about earwigs in his ass or some such thing.
The Hakkenkaufs played a show or ten however never quite felt the mix was right.
A couple of different bass players came and went. Some have moved on to other bands some were crushed by the indomitable spirit of this thing that is Hakkenkaufs.
In the year of our lord 2004, yet another Chronicle ad went out. It was responded to by Dave who instantly impressed Kurt and John. The first night they met, Dave slapped Kurt around, called Tommy on John’s cell phone and insulted him, then promptly wrecked his BMW. An obvious shoe-in. As his face had gone through a windshield, and he had broken several ribs in the car accident, he was dubbed Scabby Hakkenkauf.
In the short time that this tribe of miscreants has been together, they have smoked an awful lot of cigarettes, drunk an enormous amount of booze, and have been doing their damnedest to terrorize the local Austin club scene.
They will be playing somewhere near you soon.
They will be recording a full-length album that you will buy.
C’mon you gotta love these guysHave you performed in front of an audience?We dig playing live... in the process of getting more gigs... check the home page.
USA
ID
201574
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