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Song Info
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The Squirrels Are Trying to Kill Me
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They want my blood
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Dan Harris
2001 Harris
Sun Feb 15, 2009
Comedy : General Comedy
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Charts position
» highest in charts:   # 14   (20,390 songs currently listed in Comedy)
» highest in sub-genre:   # 6   (9,414 songs currently listed in Comedy > General Comedy)
About the song
This is a new, rawish 2008 recording.
I wrote this song when I was 16. I didn't think anybody would like it.
...turned out to be my most popular song ever. The big hit that you end every concert with and everybody goes wild.
Can you believe it?
No. I didn't think so.
But You'll still enjoy the song.
A note in red ink and tiny handwriting
I knew that something must be the matter
Apparently I’ve done something to upset them
And now they want my blood to splatter

They watch me when I go outside
They peer in the window when I go to bed
They laugh and finger tiny knives
I think the squirrels want me dead.

The squirrels are trying to kill me
The squirrels want me to die
I see them every day with their bushy little tails
Watching me with their beady little eyes

I cant go to sleep now
They watch me with their eyes of red
What if they come in through the window
And stick and eggbeater through my head?

One time I was at the table eating spaghetti
When a squirrel came up behind me with a machete.
Luckily I had my squirrel spray
And blew the little sucker away

Nobody will believe me
They say “That’s funny!” then they laugh
I don’t think they’ll be laughing
When they see the squirrels cut me in half.

(c)2001 Daniel Harris