A live recording from FF & the F's gruelling six week tour of Holland in 1987.

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Stevie said if he wore a condom
it wouldn't be the same
So they did it unprotected
While on holiday in Spain
He says "It's alright baby
If you turn off the light
the chances of conceiving
are slight"

How he got it in his head
that sperms can't see too well
when they're swimming in the dark
remains a mystery
but the sods sure made their mark
Now she says "Stevie Stevie Stevie
I'm a mother to be
I never thought this sort of thing
could happen to me"

Why can't love be simple
Does it always have to be so hard
Why can't love be simple
How come it always catches me off guard

He takes a job with a firm in Australia
He says he needs a break
And anyway the money's good
And he's doing it for the baby's sake
Nine months later
She's alone at the birth
and Stevie's doing the same old thing
on the other side of the earth

Why can't love be simple
Does it always have to be so hard
Why can't love be simple
How come it always catches me off guard

La la la la lala...

So don't take your dad for granted
He's really got his work cut out
Just remembering
where each little seed was planted


Words & Music copyright 1979 Mick Clack