Song Info
Share URL of this page

Lance Plays A Nasty Game
The only Lance Armstrong song you'll ever need. Tom Petty's 'Mary Jane's Last Dance', on steroids or EPO or something.
Take charge
Charts position
» highest in sub-genre: # 53 (1,060 songs currently listed in Comedy > Parody)
About the song
When I hear folks bash Barry Bonds I say, "Save some for Lance Armstrong."
Lyrics
LANCE PLAYS A NASTY GAME
from Tom Petty & the Heatbreakers' "Mary Jane's Last Dance"
Well he rode up on the Motorola team
He was America's best, he had America's dream
But he got real sick with the dread big C
Then he turned it all around and made cycling history
Well he mowed 'em down, he won 7 Tours
He blew the boys away, the French were torqued
He and Dr. Feelgood never got disproven
They didn't come up dirty and they just kept movin'
One
One step ahead
CHORUS:
Lance plays a nasty game
Don't you dare besmirch his precious name
When I hear folks bash Barry Bonds,
I say, 'Save some for Lance Armstrong'
Well I don't know but I would think
That steroids and muscles is a cheating thing
You tried to knock it down with a scoff and a snort
Said the butt cream was just for saddle sores
Lawsuits here, lawyers there
Threats and spin and menacing stares
Just leave folks alone, just move along --
Like you do when bad news interrupts her songs
Lance plays a nasty game
Don't you dare besmirch his precious name
When I hear folks bash Barry Bonds,
I say, 'Save some for Lance Armstrong'
Well there's naive people everywhere
And some just want to be real fair
Lookin' out from my humble home
I just gotta pick this bone
There's 2 surly guys, they're both the best
Lance and Barry, than the mortal rest
They both crossed the line in self-defense mode
But one's a big hero and the other's a goat
Lance plays a nasty game
Don't you dare besmirch his precious name
When I hear folks bash Barry Bonds,
I say, 'Save some for Lance Armstrong'
Lance plays a nasty game
Don't you dare besmirch his precious name
When I hear folks bash Barry Bonds,
I say, 'Save some for Lance Armstrong'
--Stormin
from Tom Petty & the Heatbreakers' "Mary Jane's Last Dance"
Well he rode up on the Motorola team
He was America's best, he had America's dream
But he got real sick with the dread big C
Then he turned it all around and made cycling history
Well he mowed 'em down, he won 7 Tours
He blew the boys away, the French were torqued
He and Dr. Feelgood never got disproven
They didn't come up dirty and they just kept movin'
One
One step ahead
CHORUS:
Lance plays a nasty game
Don't you dare besmirch his precious name
When I hear folks bash Barry Bonds,
I say, 'Save some for Lance Armstrong'
Well I don't know but I would think
That steroids and muscles is a cheating thing
You tried to knock it down with a scoff and a snort
Said the butt cream was just for saddle sores
Lawsuits here, lawyers there
Threats and spin and menacing stares
Just leave folks alone, just move along --
Like you do when bad news interrupts her songs
Lance plays a nasty game
Don't you dare besmirch his precious name
When I hear folks bash Barry Bonds,
I say, 'Save some for Lance Armstrong'
Well there's naive people everywhere
And some just want to be real fair
Lookin' out from my humble home
I just gotta pick this bone
There's 2 surly guys, they're both the best
Lance and Barry, than the mortal rest
They both crossed the line in self-defense mode
But one's a big hero and the other's a goat
Lance plays a nasty game
Don't you dare besmirch his precious name
When I hear folks bash Barry Bonds,
I say, 'Save some for Lance Armstrong'
Lance plays a nasty game
Don't you dare besmirch his precious name
When I hear folks bash Barry Bonds,
I say, 'Save some for Lance Armstrong'
--Stormin
