There`s this self-righteous preacher/businessman feller in our town that uses his advertising space to put up doomsday signs about drinkin`, gamblin`, and fornicatin`. We don`t dig them signs, and he don`t dig our music. Praise the Lord!

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Lyrics

A liquor store makes drunkards
And drunkards go to hell
I saw that on a marquee sign
Across from the local jail
I ain't sure what it really means
But far as I can tell
A liquor store makes drunkards
And drunkards go to hell

If you buy a lottery ticket
You'll be singin` them Ol' Scratch blues
I saw that on a billboard sign
That was sellin' them Nike shoes
I ain't sure what it really means
But have you heard the news?
If you buy a lottery ticket
You'll be singin' them Ol' Scratch blues

Makin' love before you're married
Will cause your soul to burn
I read that on the bathroom wall
Of the Skeetrock Bible Church
I ain't sure what it really means
And I guess I'll never learn
Makin' love before you're married
Will cause your soul to burn

You can use your God for money
It's the small town Christian way
I saw that on his business card
And in his collection plate
I finally figgered out what it means
I hope it ain't too late
I guess I'll flash my credit card
When I'm standin' at the Pearly Gates