Vostok Lake is bringing Lack Of Sexay back.

» highest in charts:   # 328   (276,822 songs currently listed in Electronic)
» highest in sub-genre:   # 16   (3,820 songs currently listed in Electronic > Electro)

This song is a WORK OF FICTION. I have had sex QUITE A FEW TIMES over the last decade. Seriously, this is my rather odd attempt at writing a "torch song". Noel Coward I ain't, but never mind.

I haven’t had sex in a decade
I haven’t got off in so long
The act was incredibly messy
The partners I chose were incredibly wrong

I can’t tolerate the gymastics
I’m asked to perform in the sack
I bought seven inches of plastic
The Adult shop won’t take it back

The bars are all full of those people who’re cool -
Or at least think they are - everywhere
I’d rather stay in with my internet friends
Than wash someone's grease out of my hair

And if you get tired of the penis
And go out to eat at the Y
Be ready to talk about feelings all night
And the Indigo Girls till you die

I haven’t had sex in a decade
Like nuns in the bad days of old
I will start to hallucinate Jesus
And see if he’ll do what he’s told

The celibate life, or becoming a wife
These things I have never considered
I can’t understand it, I’d lower my standards
If I had the damn things to begin with

I haven’t had sex in a decade
Except that one time in July
But that was the fault of the absinthe
And a very suggestible guy

I jog and I cycle for hours
Or else I get tense as a spring -
If I don’t find the energy
Don’t let it get to me
I’ll never have sex
Cause it’s just too complex
And then I’d have nothing to sing.