After years of healing, the Father began to restore what I'd lost - or perhaps what I never really had. In His time, He brought me a beautiful woman to be my wife, best friend and sister in Christ Jesus.

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I wrote this song for my wedding to Karen on June 22, 1997. Even today, our story seems incredible to me. Karen was in the Chicago area, and I in Seattle. We met on the internet, and for a year I flew to Chicago to see her every other weekend. Most of this song was written on the plane between Chicago and Seattle. The best part of the story though is how God orchestrated our lives to bring us together. Karen and I endured similar trials on the road to adulthood. We both wanted to find our hearts desire in a spouse, so much so that God was pushed aside. Before God brought us together, he brought each of us to a point of brokenness where we were content to have a relationship with God alone.

I had read the verse "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart". Notice the emphasis on the 2nd half of the verse - the emphasis on what I receive. Worshiping the Lord so that I might receive what I wanted was selfish worship. It was many years before I understood that the emphasis should be on the 1st half of the verse "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalms 37:4). Only when God became the number one priority in my life did he consider me ready to have Karen as my wife. God made Eve for Adam, and there is a rich tradition in the Bible of fathers choosing their children's spouse. I believe God still chooses the best spouse for each of his children he intends to be married. Consider my experience: God saved Karen for me for 20 years, until I was ready. The key to having God's best is waiting on Him (Isaiah 40:31).

There were some hysterical moments when writing this song. I struggled with the 2nd verse for quite awhile, because I couldn't rhyme the line "When I look for her she's gone". On one flight home, I had a window seat, and a business man was seated on the aisle seat, tapping away at his laptop. I silently prayed: "Lord, help me". Almost instantly I had the words: "In my dreams I've seen her, when I look for her she's gone, all I had to do, was just log on, A-O-L, A-O-L". The words came so fast, and were so off the wall, that I started laughing hysterically, and the guy next to me shot me an irritated look, then a concerned look. I could almost hear him asking "are you getting enough air over there"? Praise God for His wonderful sense of humor. Of course, I didn't use that line in the song, though I always share that laugh with the audience whenever I sing the song.

© 2001 Jack E. Helser, Jr. All Rights Reserved.

Many years I've waited
For the one whose heart would be
The echo of the heart
That beats in me

In my dreams I've seen her
When I look for her, she's gone
The hope that I might find her
Leads me on
Where is she Lord?

How I prayed to meet her
How I longed to hear
When at last the answer came
His voice was clear
Wait on Me

Broken hearted and ashamed
I fell upon my knees
And laid my heart's desire
At Jesus feet
With trembling voice I prayed
"Forgive my selfish ways
Oh Lord, have all of me"

His loving arms embraced me
Healing words were sewn
As He shaped my broken heart
To be His own

In His time He gave me
The one I've longed for all my life
This day my heart's desire
Will be my wife
Thank you Lord

Many years I've waited… for you

© 2001 Jack E. Helser, Jr. All Rights Reserved.