As heard on Dr. Demento!

» highest in charts:   # 473   (126,792 songs currently listed in Acoustic)
» highest in sub-genre:   # 136   (24,040 songs currently listed in Acoustic > Acoustic Guitar)

The band:

Ken Turetzky: Vocals, acoustic guitar and harmonica

Daria McBee: Background vocals

Lee Fortune: Bass guitar

Jerry Impini: Keyboards

Terry McIntyre: Percussion

Today was a very good day
Some beautiful things went down in my world
Today was a very good day
I think that my luck is starting to turn
Uh-huh

I used to think that you were smart
Now I know that you're stupid
You were so generous with your advice
But it all turned out to be wrong!

I saw her judging me
As we passed each other in the street
Well, she can go to hell
Because I'll never see her again!

CHORUS

That bastard neighbor of mine
The one with the little gay dog
He put his trash out on my curb
And raised chickens in his back yard

Sometime before the dawn
About when his rooster starts crowing
He rode away in an ambulance
And I hear that he's dead!

CHORUS

I've got a plan to cut my debt
Take care of the money that I owe
I'll have to make sure that I die
Before the bank gets its money!

I used to work out at the gym
And run 20 miles a week
But I felt too goddam good
And so I just f***in' quit!

CHORUS

My girlfriend's living with someone else
But she won't tell me his name
I always said one day she'd leave
And see! I was right all along

I went to see a Shakespeare joint
Blah blah, blah blah, "et tu, Brute?"
I thought the play would never end
Before my bladder exploded!

CHORUS