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This Laptop May Hit the Wall
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Epic Bonnie Tyler song becomes an epic song about Vista. . .worst OS ever. . glad Windows 7 is a marked improvement. . .good move Microsoft--may have restored some of my faith. . .though your IE still needs a lot of work to be as good as Mozilla.
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Genre
Dave-lyrics/RECISIO (used with permission)
2011
Tough Week
Sat Apr 23, 2011
Comedy : Parody
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Charts position
» highest in charts:   # 12   (21,037 songs currently listed in Comedy)
» highest in sub-genre:   # 2   (2,033 songs currently listed in Comedy > Parody)
About the song
I know they've since released Windows 7, but as bad as Vista was, I don't want to let its memory fade so that no one makes a system as horrid as that ever--EVER--again. Also, I can only say I wish this was entirely fictitious, this is one of the most bizarrely true stories I've ever turned into parodies
Lyrics
(Hard drive's down)
Every now and then
my new computer starts
freezing and I have to shut it down

(Hard drive's down)
Every now and then
I get quite a bit angry
when it feels like it's been loading for years

(Hard drive's down)
Every now and then
I wanna pick up this laptop
and throw it out a fast moving car

(Crashing now)
Every now and then
I get a wee bit frustrated oh
and warnings drive me out of my mind

(Windows crashed last night)
When the hell is this thing gonna start
(Vista lacks big time)
Unlike XP this one isn't smart

(Causing frowns)
Every now and then the Windows 7 is slow
from stuff that runs in the background

(Can't be found)
Every now and then it cannot find a file
it needs and then I have to hit restart

(Update Now!)
Every now and then when I am really busy
the computer wants to update all night

(Please not Now!)
Every now and then I get so sick of
updates that do not fix it anyway

(Paperweight waste guys)
I wish I had know just what I bought
(Like M.E., it bites)
This is not the O.S. that I sought

And it makes me want to fight
Cause it's no good for programmers
And the pop up block isn't right
Gotta turn it off forever
Because it's blocking all the websites
I wish Windows Vista was better
To be waiting 'til the problems they find
It makes me want to shoot this laptop, it's crossed my mind
Complaints like this ain't new, but this really missed the mark
Even the low price tag won't change these remarks
They need to fix this tonight
Or Apple may win me out right
Although their prices are too high

Windows Ninety-Five had the Blue Screen of Death
and sometimes that M.E. wouldn't start
But I promise you dude
That Vista's design falls apart

When XP came out, seemed they had got it right
But the contrasts are now so stark
Microsoft released
a platform I hate worse than warts


(Low on space, D Drive)
It was like that from the very start
(Low on space, D Drive)
It was like that from the very start

And my screen has just turned white
Ev'ry click is an endeavor
My connection is alright
Cable ain't slow whatsoever
I think that it does this in spite
When I call the tech line whomever
Takes my call asks the same crap ev'ry time
and on top of that they get the English all maligned
I know this much is true, it's actually bizarre
Their "tech" is half the world away, those jobs should be ours
So instead I should write
By then I will have made this right
I'll kick it right outta my sight

When I was a kid, I just loved Microsoft
But Vista left a taste that is tart
Gotta know it's true
That Vista was bad from the start

Did they lose their mind? did they test it at all?
Hope that this product is recalled
Vista needs to change
or This Laptop May Hit the Wall
This Laptop May Hit the Wall

Bring XP Back Guys
Bring XP Back Guys
Bring it back