Below Average Dave - Tough Week

Title:	Tough Week
Artist:	Below Average Dave    +155 songs
Genre:	Comedy : Parody
Store:	0.75 single     4.99 album

This one was VERY difficult to record, but then this is one of those rap/rock songs that's not really meant to be easy--title track from my April '11 album

» highest in charts:   # 12   (21,138 songs currently listed in Comedy)
» highest in sub-genre:   # 2   (1,852 songs currently listed in Comedy > Parody)

The title track is usually supposed to some up the other tracks some how right? Well it certainly fits in most of them. . .and it goes very well with the equally challenging "I Was Drunk Late One Night, Now I'm Daddy"

Had a Tough Week and still looking bleak
Got a rash on my side, it's poison ivy
Cat tipped over my T.V.
and tech support said that it's out of warranty
Fire in the dining room
A lightning bolt had hit my cot, and made a big boom
Hope next week is kinder to me
I'm afraid I have two more days left in this one

Monday night I clogged my sink
and so now my breath stinks
You'd wink if you were smelling my breath and
next on my list, I got pissed, 'Cause I forgot to feed the fish
They got all mushy 'cause I got that fish shipped from Japan
On Tuesday I choked on fresh limes
I broke out in hives
and I didn't wake up until noon
After that got my butt bit
Man I got so lit, My neighbor's fence their dog had bust through
Headache from a shake it aches and aches
My head I thought it'd break or quake
I popped an Advil, I passed out later
That's just half you know, they X-Ray showed
My neck lymph nodes have really grown
but it's not cancerous
Hope that it's nothing major

I wish that ev'rything I said wouldn't come out so bad
Formulate all I say and still make you sad
I'm a quirky guy who chokes on a donut hole
That powdered crap gets in me
and, my throat swells
Got the audacity to say what I really mean
Then I throw some punches at my work

What a Tough Week it has been for me
I glued myself to a chair outside on Main Street
Someone stole all of my CDs
They even took the one that's by me
Lit my damn stove and it caught the broom
It turned my oven-mitts to soot
and it took my hair too
Don't know what's happ'ning to me
Guess now I'll lay back and wait til next week

Slippery Sliding on slide-doors slippin'
That was on Wednesday-and I ended up trippin
Stuck on my back watching the sun
and I was so stunned
Took all of Thursday to heel my buns
On Friday night I found a bargain
So I went chargin'
So happy, wanted to make that game mine
I went-to-my-home, plugged it in
But, it's not working
So I went back, the shop was gone that night
I'm so frickin' sick and tired of
all these horrid stories of tough love
Just got so angry hope that it's not this weekend
Got into my room bed split in two
'cause it was doomed 'cause termites loomed in my mattress
They ate everything

I'm Trying real hard not to let this week get me sad
It's real tough walk in on your naked dad
I was on the new that week, blowing up a grill
On top of that-burned the meat
Was not thrilled
I have a legacy of doing things that are naive
Like taking a dare to go nude to church

Glad this tough week is ending for me
Horoscope says "I'm Fine"
I hope I will be
6 Years since that mirror's doom
I dropped it, that broke it and since then I've been screwed
Bad luck's got to leave me soon
I'm not superstitious so I say
but what would you do?
I advise-you stay away from me
Cause it will be one more year 'til I have a good week

It will be twelve more months 'til I end this streak

Well, Three hundred and fifty-eight days technically

Oprah or Jerry-can somebody help me