defense for my actions... see the story behind if you want more details

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After she broke up with me, we didn't speak for 3 months... we started talking again and decided to try to be friends for the next 2 months, but after a while of really trying to make it work, it became too hard for me because while she was moving on, i was still living in the past. and i knew that i would never get over her without separation.

i told her that i thought we should spend some time apart because it was too hard to be just friends with her right now because it felt like i lost all of her compassion that i had known so strongly at one time... and she resented me for my decision and told me i was giving up on making it work after she had put a lot of effort into trying to spend time together... but at the same time, it felt like she had given up on me in some sense and it became too much, because i was still in love with her, and she didn't want to talk to me about our past, which was what I needed help coming to terms with. By all means, it wasn't her responsibility to do that after she broke up with me, but it was what i needed for a friendship to work.

i guess this song is just saying, "what was i supposed to do... how do you expect me to react when i get my heart broken. this is the way i have to deal with things." i'm not as superhuman as she or i hoped. and though i miss her a lot, i feel like it might be best at this point in our lives... though i hope we will cross each other's paths in the future.

Is this just a phase (or is this one to stay?)
Just a goodbye we have to go through
I question myself at the lows of my day
And pray it's just part of where we're going to

And you're right... you usually are
You always surprise me but that's why you fill this guitar
And you're right... I'm being demanding
Of your understanding for why I can't be... why can't I be seen?... cuz you look... but you don't see me... anymore and it's because...

I know you look down when you look back at me being this way

But you changed your mind
I was left behind
Then you asked me to fake it, but I couldn't take it, so I had to break it
The worst part about it: you could live without it I knew, but I couldn't shout it

You refused to see just me
Only in the context of other company
You took out the feeling without even helping me heal... how was I supposed to deal?... the one thing I knew in this damn place was you...

But you changed your mind
I was left behind
Then you asked me to fake it, but I couldn't take it, so I had to break it
The worst part about it: you could live without it I knew, but I couldn't shout it

I know you look down when you look back at me being this way