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I Saw My Girlfriend Kissing Santa Claus
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An Elvis-style riff on a Christmas song
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Z. Mulls/Brian Boland
2008

Thu May 29, 2008
Comedy : General Comedy
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Charts position
» highest in charts:   # 50   (20,430 songs currently listed in Comedy)
» highest in sub-genre:   # 22   (9,483 songs currently listed in Comedy > General Comedy)
About the song
I wrote this with my friend Brian Boland years ago, long before I was writing lyrics seriously. This is a fun number we performed at cabarets a couple of times.

The demo was produced (and is performed by) Darryl Gregory of Blue Cave Studios
Lyrics
I went shopping with my girlfriend just the other day
And things just got a little weird
I stepped out to sneak a peek at all the lingerie
I came back and she had disappeared
I found the toy department
I pulled back a flap
I saw my baby sitting on Santa's lap
They were hugging, they were kissing, they were smooching & caressin'
All over his beard

Oh, Santa, Santa
Don't make me cry
I'm in love with my baby and that's no lie
Why doncha go and find some cute little elf?
I wanna keep my baby all to myself
Oh, Santa, Santa
Don't make me weep
Who'da thought that Santa was a big, fat creep
I'm the saddest Who in Whoville that there ever was
Since I caught my only baby kissing Santa Claus


I took a look behind me at the Christmas tree
A line of kids stretched down the aisle
My girlfriend stayed a-sittin' on Santa's knee
They were turning up the romance dial
I cleared my throat
I let out a yell
He jumped up with a tingle of his jingle bell
(And as he) took his place my girlfriend stood there smiling
A Candy Cane smile

Oh, Santa, Santa,
Don't make me sad
I love my little baby and I've been had
I looked the other way and how could I know
(She had a) secret little stash of mistletoe
Santa, Santa, (I'm) climbing the walls
Cause she's the one I wanna have deck my halls
(I'm a) glummer drummer boy and I get no applause
Since I caught my pretty baby kissing Santa Claus


My honey stood there grinning with a happy glow
And I was all lit up like a wire
She said she only got in good with Santa so
He'd bring us stuff we desire
I said to her, "Santa
Better hang up his wreath,
'Cause all I want for Christmas is his two front teeth,
(And if he's) sliding down our chimney then I'm gonna build me
A mighty big fire"

Oh, Santa, Santa
Give me a break
I'm in love with my baby, that's no mistake
I know I've been naughty once or twice
But I promise next year that I will always be nice
Santa, Santa
She's on my list
She's the sweetest little sugarplum I ever have kissed
I'm the reddest-nosed reindeer in the world because
I caught my pretty baby kissing Santa Claus



Santa, Santa
Don't make me blue
I'm in love with my darling, you know it's true
Wrap her up as a present for me
Let me open her up by the Christmas tree
Oh, Santa, Santa, Don't leave me low
Who'da thought me baby was a Ho! Ho! Ho!
I'm the frostiest snowman with the coldest paws
And I caught my gal red-handed kissing Santa Claus