From a modern news article about getting permission, which amused me.

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In this modern day we have to get everything signed, I just thought what would have happened in the olden days. (trad tune)

The Rape Contract Glynne Davies

As I was a walking one morning in May
I spied a young couple down in the young hay
He had his fiddle out and was trying with great tact
For a tune he would play her if she signed the contract

Ch.
And they both sat down together love on their outdoor coats
Rape contracts they must be signed before getting his oats
But lawyers are hard to find it’s their busy season spring
So they'll just had to sit right there and hear the Nightingale sing.

Will they kiss so sweet and comforting will they cling to each others
Or will it be platonic, like sisters and brothers
Arm in along the road, no chance of a Fling
Sitting there doing sweet FA, no Nightingale sing.


From out of his knapsack the contract he drew out
Ten Pound of the legal fees, before shedding a clout
The lawyer said this contact was a licence to commit sin
But he could have it free, if he could join in

Ch.

So the fiddler he looked at me and I looked at him
Want a verbal contract witness I said with a grin
There’s no charge to witness but I’ll stay for the fun
Now Peeping Toms are needed, hey that’s a new one.

Ch.

So this couple they got married and soon went to bed
And with the marriage contract, he took her maidenhead
Each night when she fancies it, she signs her consent.
But when she’s finished the Safety on the Job forms, his ardour is spent.

Ch.

Now the sales, of aspirin, has fallen off fast
To play such a merry tune, is a thing of the past
Headaches no more excuse, it’s a passion killer, when
He’s no lead in his pencil, she’s no ink in her pen.


Ch.