This is a song about intelligent design. It attempts to make a clear, personal case against intelligent design without being preachy. Basically, the case is that if I was designed, it wasn't a very good design.

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This chorus was bouncing around in my head for ages -- "If I was designed / why must I brush my teeth" and so on. I had trouble writing the rest of the song because every way I came at it it seemed simplistic and preachy, like so much of the folk music I don't like. I did my best to come out with something that was honest and me but not simplistic or preachy.

The other day I answered the door to the young faces of two who'd seen the light
And they asked me if I believed in the saving grace of Jesus Christ

They said look around you, look at this light, look at those tulips, look at your wife,
Look at the dance, the dance of life, Is that just change, or is that design?

But if I was designed, why must I brush my teeth?
If I was designed, why must I clip my nails, shower, shave,
Brush my hair and wash my face, catch my image in the mirror and wonder
What I'm here for

If I was designed, wouldn't I know
If I was designed, couldn't I just go where I'm supposed to go
Do what I should do, not have to go through hell
just wondering
What I'm here for

Those two, they look confused, and one of them started to sigh,
But then they smiled, and they asked again, wouldn't I like a better life.

I told them no, I may not know much, but I know you've got it wrong.
It's the 21st century, isn't it time we moved on.

If I was designed, why can't I fly
If I was designed, shouldn't I be a picture of efficiency
like an ipod or a jetplane or a model T
or at the very least couldn't I be a paperclip or a button hole
they both know
what they're for

If I was designed, what's with this hair
If I was designed, wouldn't my designer care enough
to put me in a world where people always fell in love
and never blew each other up
over God.