SHE asks ME for a date- and then I never hear from her again. What's up with that?

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I call on you
I ring you
I text you
I sing for you
If I had a peronsal bellboy,I'd f***ing page you too.

If this is all a game for us
It could be really dangerous
Because for all you know, I could be a hitman.

Ease my frustration,
be my crustacean,
clinging to my rock.
And while the evil man sharks are swimming
preying on the easy fishy women
we can just sit there and grow old.

So call on me
Or ring me
text me
Or sing for me
We can go and rob banks for fun or share a killing spree.
If you could just see how I'm feeling
I'm sure you'd find it unappealing
But you can't cos you don't live near me, and you hate my guts


Ease my frustration
Be my dalmation
and let me count your spots.
And when I throw a stick for you to bring to me
You'll bring it back, oh so willingly
We can just play there, growing old.

So I'll call on you
I'll ring you
I'll text you
Still sing for you
I'll take an ad out in The Times, if it doesn't cost too much.