Wistful aspirations from a genuine wanna be

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I wrote this when I was dispondent over my status as a lame ass straight honky. Out of my self-loathing came pure magic, as I perfectly captured the "lingo." I wanted to help contribute to advancing the culture, so I make this little ditty freely available.

I wants a be a big pimpin' low-hung nigga
packin uzi, mac, a gat, somethin' wit a trigga
then I wants a be a goblin' gay-boy swishin'
but I just be a straight white boy wishin'

I wants myself a tricked out ride
a pimpin' rig, hydro made fo jumpin'
not fo up n down, it gotsa jump side t' side
backseat bass n booty, both a dem a pumpin'

I wants a be a pimp, I wants a be a thug
I wants me lots o bling, I wants a catch a slug
den de puts me d'hole dat m' homies all done dug
cover me wit crack cocaine, it's m' fav-o-rite drug

den in da afa-life, where I really be black
get m' very own ho, big booty - hot rack
an a bran-new package wit da big n*** cock
an evybody know, dat da big long n*** cock rock

cap st.peter for his sneakers
jack me up some big-ass speakers
den we be pumpin' somethin' loud
Tuppac n me, jus a rhymin' on a cloud