Parody of Friends In Low Places

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"Sores In The Strangest Places" Parody by Tim Mayfield

I blame it all on my boots
I woke up with roots
Wrapped all around my leg
And the tip of my tongue
It must have been numb
For over half of the day
I've got bruises inside
And ones I can't hide
Like the ones I got on my face
It looks like I might
Have lost "one nasty fight"
And I hurt all over the place

Well, I've got sores in the strangest places
And my doctor says, that I've got traces
of trauma too,
Well wouldn't you?
Well, I've got scrapes and I've got bruises
And still my doctor consistently chooses
To give me these
For my sores in strange places

Well, I went hiking one day
And all I can say
Is I ran straight into a bear
He came right for me
So I turned to flee
But I didn't get anywhere
Cause my hiking boots
Got stuck on some roots
And I knocked myself out at the scene
And as I lay there,
I guess that the bear
Used me as a trampoline

And now, I've got sores in the strangest places
And my doctor says, that I've got traces
of trauma too,
Now I ask, wouldn't you?
And, I've got scrapes and tons of bruises
And still my doctor consistently chooses
To give me these
For my sores in strange places

Yes, I've got sores in the strangest places
And my doctor says, that I've got traces
of trauma too,
Now I ask, wouldn't you?
And, I've got scrapes and tons of bruises
And still my doctor consistently chooses
To give me these
For my sores in strange places