Of all the things our country's leaders could have asked citizens to do after 9/11, the best our current batch of boneheads could come up with was 'shop'. Egad.

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I was fooling around with the verse line one day; nothing else had been written, when I got annoyed all over again by the idiocy of mall shopping, selling our trash overseas, and burying ourselves in cheap plastic crap. After that the lyrics fairly wrote themselves.

Hey there little que mart queen
You got the finest aisles I've ever seen
When you turn that blue light on
I get a whole lot of shopping done

Got to see my ebay mama
She dot coms without no comma
When she gets her package wrapped
She tapes it up and sends it back

Shop, shop, shop till you're dead
Shop, shop, that's what I said
It's a buyer's market
Why don't you park it with me
You're the sweetest shopper I've ever seen

Got to meet my walmart girl
She runs camps all around the world
If your nike shoes don't fit
Miss Bombay will take care of it

Shop, shop, shop till you're dead
Shop, shop, that's what I said
It's a buyer's market
Why don't you park it with me
You're the sweetest shopper I've ever seen

Shop, shop, shop till you're dead
Shop, shop, that's what I said

Hey there little que mart queen
You've got the widest aisles I've ever seen
When you turn your blue light on
I get a whole lot of shopping done

Shop, shop, shop till you're dead
Shop, shop, that's what I said
It's a buyer's market
Why don't you park it with me
You're the sweetest shopper I've ever seen