A parody of the Rolling Stones' 'Wild Horses'. A sad saga of Pippin's digestive woes, featuring the deathless vocals of Merry and guitar work by KT...

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Wild food craving means queasiness through
Hot things I've shunned or I sought out the loo
Spiceless gravies and flavorless spam
You know I want victuals tasteless and bland

Mild courses: goodly pragmat' entree
Fired, vile sauces leave me gagging away

I clutched my tummy, had dull aching pain
Downed Pepto-Bismol, to keepeth me sane
Must keep intestines gastro-comply'n'
Food treats me much better if plain on my tine

Mild courses means that bowels don't complain
Mild, mild courses cause no flatulent pain…

I groan while chilis, they set me afire
Pepper-fired seas'nings? Digestive-ly dire
Hate jalapenos; zing, I despise
If you are giving curries I dies…

Mild courses, puddin' pasty and whey
Mild, mild courses - no frying I pray…

Mild courses, shunnin' zesty okay?
Vile vile salsas - must hide them away…