Sometimes, the best healing is to just talk about it..... Biff's ex left him with a lot to talk about...... hope you laugh.

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Originally, the lyrics were a stand-up comedy routine Biff was doing about his Ex.
We needed lyrics for a new riff one day, and Kelly said "hey man, try some of this rude stuff along with the tune"......next thing you know........

P.S.A.

I have a message for all the happy couples out there that are convinced the emotions are going to last a lifetime….. JUST KEEP SMOKIN’ DOPE, OK??

I don’t understand what happened to our sex life, tho.. even her doctor told me she was a healthy, sexual woman….. HER DOCTOR, THE MECHANIC, THE PLUMBER, THE PAPERBOY… THE GUY THAT READS THE WATER METER…

I shoulda known, when I asked her that time what my most annoying quality was, and she said BREATHING.
Then I found out she was sleeping with the guy next door on Mondays and Wednesdays when I worked late, and I told her not to do that any MORE, …. SHE SAID SHE COULDN’T… I DIDN’T WORK ANY OTHER NIGHT SHIFTS.

I guess I shouldn’t call my ex a slut, tho. It’s not nice, and all the other sluts resent it.
YOU HAVE TO APPRECIATE THE IRONY NOW THAT SHE WORKS AT A PLACE WHERE THEY ACTUALLY PUT CHROME ON BUMPERS!

D I V O R C E let me go, please set me free.
D I V O R C E let me go, just let me be.

You know, I never thought she’d throw me outta the house like that…. I honestly thought I was gonna get to walk….
AND THE DIETS.. THOSE CRASH DIETS… I’LL NEVER FORGET THE TWINKIES AND COLA WITH 3 BAGS OF CHIPS A DAY DIET… I NEVER SAW THE BOOK ON THAT ONE… IT WAS PROBABLY BURIED UNDER HER ASS.

Now I’m not trying to put anyone off of getting married… if you’re engaged, please stay engaged…… PLEASE STAY ENGAGED…… FOREVER…..

CHORUS
And my friends have really been there thru this whole thing and I wish I could answer their questions, but now that she’s my ex, I have no idea where the blow jobs are coming from…… WAITAMINUTE……. FREE?????

SOLO
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Now I hope I haven’t offended anyone with all of this.. we know it’s all aimed at just one person..
But like so many songs, someone, someday, is going to turn to their lover and say “YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS OUR SONG.. IT FITS…… IT FITS PERFECTLY… WE SHOULDA PLAYED THIS AT OUR f***ING WEDDING YOU bi***”

CHORUS