A pro-vegetable, anti-dropout, anti-drug PSA

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I was thinking about starting a singing group, maybe something like The Partridge Family, but not a family, where the members are all fake blond and deeply tanned and well over 30. And we would sing really positive, healthy songs, one of which would be called If You Wanna Party, Come on Out and Dance and If You Wanna Dance, Come on Out and Party. This is basically that song, but with just me and with a shorter title. (It's really hard to fit long titles like that on a CD!)

If you wanna party, come on out and dance! And if you wanna dance, come on out and party!



Do you wanna party? Do you really wanna party? Then you better make sure you get 5 servings of fruits and vegetables every day! Cux if you wanna keep up with the really hard rockers and cool ravers out there, you'll need all the essential nutrients that fruits and vegetables provide. Like B vitamins from kale and iron from mustard greens, both of which will help you maintain the energy to rave all night long. And don't forget potassium from cabbage and fiber from durians, which will keep your legs limber and your waist small, so you'll be able to wear all those revealing, ho-inspired fashions! You can't get these nutrients from a blow pop, so make sure you consume at least some fruits or vegetables at every meal. Your colon will thank you. Fruits and vegetables are the rizzle dizzle! Fer shizzle!



If you wanna party, come on out and dance! And if you wanna dance, come on out and party!



Do you like to dance? [I love to dance!] Do you really like to dance? [I love to dance!] If you do, and wanna keep on dancing for years to come, try this on for size: Stay in school. People who stay in school dance more, because they have more to dance about! Just think about it: who's in more of a dancing mood—someone who just got an A on her geometry test, or someone who just threw up, again, from morning sickness that she has from her teenage pregnancy which made her drop out of school?? Also, what makes you want to dance more than learning? Nothing. And lastly, there's one thing that can make you stop dancing forever: painful gonorrhea, which you're 100 times more likely to have if you're a dropout. In fact, 95% perfect of all dropouts have at least one venereal disease, and most have 2 or 3. So remember, if you wanna stay on the dance floor, better stay in the classroom. School is cool.



If you wanna party, come on out and dance! And if you wanna dance, come on out and party!



Do you like to dance and party? Do you wanna party and dance? Really? If you do, then keep this in mind: Say NO to drugs. Cux nothing ruins a hoppin' dance party like a drug addiction. And with today's powerful drugs, most people get addicted the first time they try one. That means if that if you smoke some XTC, or take a reefer pill at a party, by the time you leave, you're already hooked, and all you can think about is getting your next fix. You don't have much time to dance if you're busy selling your valuables, and your body, for your next hit of crack. And from there it's only a short trip to the insane asylum, where you'll be for the rest of your life. And it's hard to party much there, when you're sitting around in a diaper drooling over yourself all day long. Not to mention that no one in insane asylums ever gets Christmas presents. You like Christmas presents, don't you? So if you want to keep dancing and partying and getting really great Christmas presents, be sure to steer clear of drugs. Get high on dancing …and partying!


If you wanna party, come on out and dance! And if you wanna dance, come on out and party!