While the empires (junior and senior) quibble about the menu, Iraq burns.

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The Iraq war. It was rumored, after the U.S. Congress changed the French fries on their menu to "Freedom Fries," that the French government was retaliating by changing American cheese to "Idiot Cheese."

In the hallowed halls of Congress,
at the Fat Cat Luncheonette,
They’ve been scarfing down the French fries
since the days of Lafayette.
Now the brie is in the dumpster,
Cabernet is down the sewers,
And we do not call them French fries
’cause the French are evil-doers.

Chorus:
Have some Freedom Fries,
full of good old American lard.
They’re guaranteed to raise your flag
and turn your arteries hard.
All you really need is Freedom Fries.

What have the hapless Frenchies done
to draw the empire’s ire?
They made a deal for Iraqi oil
to fuel their French fry fryers.
They dragged their feet on the road to war
and now they’ll pay the price.
French food is off the table,
the ultimate sacrifice. (Chorus)

Now a patriotic potato-head
can eat red, white, and blue.
Freedom Fries, they slide right down,
you hardly have to chew.
With chili, ketchup, and Cheez Wiz,
we’ll kick ’em up a notch,
And I recommend you wash ’em down
with a fine American Scotch. (Chorus)

When your kid’s in jail and you pension fails
and your job has gone to crap,
Your congressman still shakes your hand,
“You want Freedom Fries with that?”

On the day of liberation,
as we dance on Baghdad streets,
Some homeless, happy Iraqi asks you,
“What would Jesus eat?”
Bamn, will come the answer,
it’s a pork-fat potato prize,
I know you won’t say no sir,
You’re my friend or you’re my foe, sir,
I don’t care if you are kosher,
you will love these Freedom Fries. (Chorus)