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In memory of my grandma.

My inspiration, the one who made me see the light and turn it on/
Where would I be tonight, I couldn’t see my life without you urging on/
And word is bond. I swear upon it that I love you/
You took care of me since birth, and I’ll be honest, what’s it come to?/
I see you in pain, speaking my name, and where is God/
Weak and ashamed, I see you and cry/
Why do people just die?/
I hope to God you will never breathe your last breath/
And instead stay with me. But deep within I know you half dead/
And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to abandon you/
But soon as I hit my ‘teens, all I did was get mad at you/
Ignored your presence, I didn’t even acknowledge you/
Now you dying in bed, and only now can I cling on to you/
I’m sorry. Truthfully, hopefully, God forgives me/
‘Cuz for another minute with you here, I’d give the life I’m living/
I thought my life was hard; but compared to yours, it’s nothing too rough/
I know that some have loved you more, but I haven’t loved you enough/

And I’m sorry I let you slip away/ I didn’t mean it/
My conscience won’t let me get away/ I didn’t mean it/
And I’m sorry you couldn’t hear me say I didn’t mean it/
How could I just let you slip away?/ I didn’t mean it/

And you were there for my first step/
There when I first slept/
And you were near where I first left/
I can only imagine it now in a memory/
It’ll never be the same to me. I can’t let it be/
I remember th emoment, th etimse, I wuoldn’t let you go/
You’d tell me play with my friends, and I would just tell you “No”/
I was like six, sucking my thumb, clinging to grandma/
A nice kid. Now I’m dumber than dumb. Barely a man I - /
Don’t know what to do – don’t know where to turn/
The more that I think it through, the deeper the hole will burn/
And that one night you collapsed in my bed/
Breathing shallow and then/
You went to ER, and haven’t been the same grandma since then/
But still I love you. I just don’t know how to say it/
When you’re in bed, crying in anguish/
I can only sit beside you and take it/
And pray to the lord you’ll make it/

And I’m sorry I let you slip away/ I didn’t mean it/
My conscience won’t let me get away/ I didn’t mean it/
And I’m sorry you couldn’t hear me say I didn’t mean it/
How could I just let you slip away?/ I didn’t mean it/
And ‘til this day I hate it ‘cuz I can’t bring back what day it was/
When you and I would sit around, playing just –/
Because everyone was out. Me and you, sitting at home, watching the TV/
Stopping it briefly, in time for a deep sleep/
Back in the day when I showed you my love openly/
Now it’s like I walk in your room once a week knowingly/
Knowing that you could leave me in the dark in a moment/
And I admit it. I’m a stupid ass and I’m soulless/
How can I turn my back on the hands that have fed me for life?/
It’s clear to me that death itself has kept me from life/
And it disgusts me that our distance gets larger by night time/
And that I sleep, knowing, inside, that you might die/
If only, in words, I could tell you to your face that I could tell you I love you/
But I know that lifetimes can’t be exchanged for “I love you’s”/
And I pray that you could be near staying with me/
Because without you, I wouldn’t be hear saying this see/

And I’m sorry I let you slip away/ I didn’t mean it/
My conscience won’t let me get away/ I didn’t mean it/
And I’m sorry you couldn’t hear me say I didn’t mean it/
How could I just let you slip away?/ I didn’t mean it/