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the first song written for the lp i'm working on definatly not the verison that's gonna be on the cd but i just wanna get some feedback

-beat "track2"
//after intro verse 1//
go to work minunum wage and no options/
go out with her low income little options/
no way to turn lost either way i go/
on a bridge stop watching the water flow/
stand other side of the railing, thinking/
what would happen if i just let go/
fall into the water way down below/
would i die would even one person cry/
if i make this song will even one listen/
my effort is long but will this ever gilsten/
i pour my thoughts my personal ones into it/
while i write this feeling low like shit/
hell i can't even wash the dishes right/
what makes me think this song will be tight/
i'm so lost so confused just wanna give up/
straight whiskey take a drink bottoms up/
throw the glass feeling ready to throw up/
//hook//
//verse 2//
so finish this song and take time to record/
a cheap mic the best my income could afford/
ask people to listen and put my heart on line/
no people might take my lyrics as a sign/
he's disturbed locked up in a small cell/
people won't imbrace i know i can tell/
no i think i'll just tuck this far away/
away from eyes and ears were it will stay/
listen hardly only when i'm about to yell/
only when around me are the walls of a cell/
crazed and ready to hurt my memories are/
just to painful just a block away from water/
i never could swim thinking suicide not murder/
i get my coat on this is my final walk/
no words left so i'll just end my talk/
//hook//