Completely speaks for itself. Why hasn't anyone run for president on this theme?

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Believe she's gonna come for me
Late at night, like a memory
Seven years, I had a crush on thee
And I never thought that we'd make it
Now I gotcha, but you're still not mine
Just this once, it's gonna feel so fine
Bad ideas have their own damn time
Be my friend, but be naked

Julie K., she was a friend of mine
Sweet in sweats, she made me drink my wine
We stayed up till a quarter to nine
Like the way we used to play

Made me laugh, but she had gotten so smooth
Held me close, it started gettin' confused
Caught her eye and I felt things move
Like an I from a J

Brother, you're the only one that I can tlak about this to
You gotta help me -- what the hell am I supposed to do, except

(Chorus)

We kept laughin', but it got so strange
Same old us, but now everything's changed
Fallin' forward, now I'm right in range
Should I leave?
Bodies closer and I start to melt
If I could only reach my utility belt
Should have known I'd fold the cards I was dealt
There was no other way

So brother, you're the only one that I can tlak about this to
You gotta help me -- what the hell am I supposed to do, except

(Chorus)

I really gotta get home
'Cause you're my best damn friend
And though I can't see straight
I can't see what's around the bend
And after all the joy you bring
The warning bells really oughta ring
But then you turn and you say,
"Um, can you help me unzip this thing?"

Mercy!