Comedy : Adult Comedy

The most evil song Worm Quartet has ever created. Recorded live with Shoebox in his full mullet-swinging glory at Monty's Krown in Rochester, NY.

Comedy : Political Humor

Worm Quartet's reaction to the neutering of the Cookie Monster (i.e. 'C Is For Cookie' and 'A Cookie Is A Sometime Food') and what it says about how parents like to deflect their responsibilities.

Comedy : General Comedy

The ultimate Worm Quartet ex-girlfriend song.

Comedy : General Comedy

Bunches of people have expressed to me their fears that I may somehow breed. This is my response. "A f***ing brilliant piece of work IMHO...may be comedy music's best-ever song about the urge for reproduction." - Dr. Demento

Comedy : General Comedy

An incredibly stupid song about the blessed yellow maze-dwelling ghost eater who brings me such joy.

Comedy : General Comedy

Worm Quartet's greatest hit...the second most requested song of 2002 on the Dr. Demento show. A twisted tale of a drummer who refuses to leave a band.

Comedy : General Comedy

My first-ever collaboration with rap dementia semi-legend Sudden Death! A schizophrenic success story.

Comedy : General Comedy

Inspired by the plethora of crappy websites out there - 90% of every website on the Internet that isn't porn is pictures of people and their friggin' cats. Is this really necessary?

Comedy : General Comedy

A technoriffic ode to a former roommate's mullet droppings. From the Sumophobia remix album, Sumophobia Alpha 2 EX Super Championship Turbo Edition

Comedy : General Comedy

A cover of Tony Goldmark's immortal children's song "I Know You're A Fish," updated with a choral goth ska punk metal whatever kinda whatsit to make it sound like, well, Worm Quartet. The Great Luke Ski appears as the Judge.

Comedy : General Comedy

A loving tender far-too-Ramonesesque punk epic discussing the various places in which one might find a deceased puppet. A relic from back when I had a band...features Kevin Morgan on guitars and Ben Dean programming the drums. Remastered!

Rock : Punk

Part of the 17-song 4-and-a-half-minute "Short Bus Suite." I figure everyone can relate to this one.

Comedy : General Comedy

A nice little ditty about asking God to protect you from EVERYTHING...from sex-crazed robots to mutating bodily secretions! Inspired by people who think thay can sit on their asses and an invisible man in the sky will solve all their problems.

Comedy : General Comedy

Everybody must have wondered this about Chewbacca at some point in their life...Another song in the "Short Bus Suite."

Comedy : General Comedy

A rant about cubicle life tempered with praise for the one substance worth abusing when coping with it. Punky and fun. This is a new re-recorded version of my favorite song from "Sumophobia."

Comedy : General Comedy

This is a song about rabbits and why they're so great.