When I was little, Momma made me sleep in the barn because my socks smelled so bad. That's where the "barn" part came from. The "cat" part is based on ... well, something very sad in my background. Before Daddy got into the moonshine business, our family was poor. So poor that we couldn't even afford a bathroom or outhouse. The whole family had to use a litter box. So all the kids at school laughed and called me "Barncat." That is, until I got kicked out of school for threatening to kill them all.

No, no, I don't play any gigs. The authorities don't let me out of the house with the ankle bracelet on.

The Internet has changed music by ... geez, I don't know. Let me think about it. Can't you ask something easier, like, "What's your favorite beer?" or "Do you wear boxers or briefs?"

Yeah, I can be bought, for sure. Why, is somebody looking for me? Dang, wish I had a phone or something.

1967 -- Began learning the accordion.
1968 -- Parents placed the accordion in our driveway and backed the car over it several times.
1970 -- Began learning guitar.
2000 -- Still trying to learn. Can now play chords to "Old Joe Clark."
2008 -- Got busted for playing my music with the windows open at 3 a.m. Judge threw the book at me. I threw it back at him. Arrested on new charges and am still serving time.

Jack Daniels. I do my best music when I'm under the influence.

Right here in Zebulon, Georgia, where I parked the trailer back in 1980. Still live there with my common-law wife and eight pit bull terriers. Yup ... that's where my heart is. That's also where the county dump is. I'm currently working there as an intern.

Whatever instruments I can borrow. I also have some non-musical equipment, such as an electric toothbrush, but I don't think that's relevant to your question, is it?

No matter what they say, I still think my parents ran over my accordion on purpose.