A Reality Check

Most say live Big Ray music is better than sex. We disagree - we don't know who you're having sex with - but we're pretty sure sex is a bit better than live Big Ray music. We do know for a fact that after a Big Ray show your chances of having sex are directly proportional to your ability to actually have sex. Simply put - if you can, you'll get some! None-the-less, we'll continue to investigate this matter. Let's move on to more important things...

Big Ray is a group of guys that cannot hold still and are commonly mistaken as young children. Fortunately, mothers will not allow their children to attend or listen to Big Ray music. More so, Mothers will drop everything they are doing in order to get to a Big Ray show. It?s a rare phenomenon. They will arrive stag or with other women. Having dumped Oprah, Dr. Laura, and other important lifestyle shaping programs to get to see Big Ray, women in general, will go to extremes just to get to a show. For example, they?ll lie to their husbands and say they have to console an old friend or play an emergency game of bunko. Big Ray shows traditionally sets precedent over all lifestyle programming! Not only is Big Ray a lifestyle, but it?s a style of life (What in the hell does that mean?) Men are generally clueless when it comes to Big Ray. Only when exposed to the Hot, Elastic, Soaking, Thrusting and Driving Rock and Roll Big Ray produces do they understand. Oh yes, clothing is optional at most shows. Be sure to check local laws and ordinances before attending sans clothing.

If you ask Big Ray to play a song...they will - but please don't expect to hear the song you requested. The band members confuse easily and have short attention spans. However, they do play a 4 hour show of all original material and will leave the audience crawling out the door or looking for their car that they had when they were a teen.

Big Ray consists of a couple of guitars, a bass guitar, some drums, a harmonica, congas, timbales, and some other noise making devices that we don?t know the names of. We?re not exactly sure of our names for that fact. We are commonly referred to as, The Captain, Duke, Chris, Scotty More, and Steve. Here you can find out a little about each one of us.