Not quite faithful to it's original write because I was limited on space, this would be a radio edit, still a very fun song to record

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Well, the sad thing is this is not an entirely fictitious story.

Please I would do anything for cash
I'd take any job, and that's a fact
I would do anything for cash
My rent's way past due, my windshield's cracked

But I'll never take aim at stealing from you dear pal
Oh no, please wait
Oh I would do anything for cash
but I won't do that
Please I need some cash

I'd do things that may seem sleazy
I'd do stuff without regard
I'd risk every limb and bone
and if I survive I'll do it again

I can be a date for hire
Or walk barefoot across ice
I'd even eat anything on Fear Factor, and say Amen

My morals are hazy
Cause I really need some food
Oh I have a spending problem,
so just tell me what to do

It's money for which I'm yearning
My credit cards all are burning
I'll even lick dust right off your shoes
As long as your paying

Yes I would do anything for cash
I would do anything for cash
I would do anything for cash
but I won't do that
No I won't do that

I would do anything for cash
Even dig for stuff in the trash
Just let me earn some cash

I would do anything for dough
Even massage them big fat toes
I would even do. . .

I'd risk the big city's violence
or suck on a lump of coal
I wish you could see I just need a check, yeah and that's my goal

This ain't baloney
I'm serious as can be
It may sound quite silly
Silly, but it's true, that much I plea

There's not much I would be spurning
I see your mind's thoughts are burning
Just tell me what it is that I must do
This isn't a joke no

Cause
I would do anything for cash
Even swallow lemon extract
I'd run to town and get real trashed
If that's what you want, and that's a fact

but I always feel better when my work involves booze
So wrong
So wrong

but Still I'd do anything for cash
Yes I would do anything, just a-a-ask
I would do anything for cash
but please not that, no
oh no,oplease not that

(Random Person)
Would you rake my barn?
Would you eat canned spam?
Would you run through Chicago with your clothes left in my hand?
Would you love me though I'm twice as old?

(Me)
I can do that, oh yes please give me that cash

(Another Random Person)
Would you massage my bunions and forget to wear socks?
Would you dust and clean my old grandfather, the tick (clock)?
Would you lay on a cactus full grown?

(Me)
I can do that, Oh yes please give me that cash

(Yet Another Random Person)
Just after midnight, sneak into a crime ring
I can promise you, this ain't no cop sting
and I'll pay you in full when we're done

(Me)
I won't do that,
Not the Desperate yet