A parody about the News in general to Alice in Chains 'No Excuses'

Written for an Alice in Chains contest at AmIRight, actually ended up being a personal favorite.

Man this bites
The news at nine
Too impatient to research
what they find

A crack ho
Caught with Joe Smo
Wasn't riding and
she's fifty-two years old

Every night a story
on the news gets told
I'll place them on the top shelf
It's producers this I know

Brit's a Preg
Dumbledore's Gay
Not amused, I
don't care what Oprah weighs

Heard this too
Writer's feel screwed
They want more money, I
don't make half what they do

Every week the
same crap, it gets rather old
I just keep talking to myself
It's useless 'cause news blows

(Long Instrumental Part)

I was fine
'Til I heard this line
Frozen Pizza, was
recalled for E-Coli

Never ends
It's the new trend
Exaggerate
Report it anyway

What is with all
of the deceit that's told
They have no more souls to sell
It's confusing, that I know