"It's okay- he's with me."

Live is probably our favorite place to play; better than Limbo and beats the heck outta Dead.

Only true rockers will survive the digital revolution because it is forcing musicians to actually play for their sheckels in front of real, live people. The real money is in tee-shirts, anyway.

Allright, but you gotta buy us dinner first.

jd: "I know that 'Chicanerous Buffoon'is a term bandied about too frequently these days, but nowhere does it rest as comfortably as on the broad shoulders and narrow mind of Max Vincent. As I recall, I first stumbled over Vincent in the dank and filthy basement of a dank and filthy club I was playing in the summer of '85. I was paying my Rock N' Roll dues, touring basements with my one man tribute to The Dave Clark 5. At that time, Max was touring sub-basements with his Avant-Garde Mind Rock Band, "Vinnie and the Volume". He had been aspiring to take his band to the next level and came up to the basement to see how the big boys got things done. He was crouching by the corner of the stage, soaking up the charisma and stealing nachos from tables when I executed my signature move; a half-gaynor stage dive with a twist. I caught my left boot on his helmet and tore out my ACL. We got to talking and I was impressed that he had sold tens of tens of his self- produced Psionic Bass album, "The Emperor's New Clothes". I was impressed because the albums appeared to be completely blank, but he was able to convince people that only the true, pure at heart music fan could hear the stylings of the Psionic Bass. I wanted that kind of promotional savvy in my band. Then, just recently we saw this long haired dude at Best Buy who was smashing television screens and teen pop records with this big stinkin' guitar. He said his name was Wallace and that he was sent here from the future on a desperate mission to purify Earth's musical culture and thereby prevent the destruction of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I think he's a bit dotty, but he can shred, so...here we are.

Steve Taylor (world's greatest song writer), Weird Al, Elvis, Timmy Atomic and the Nuclear Disciples, 77's, Queen, Steve Walsh, anything Elfante, Roy Orbison, Motorhead, The Hudson Brothers, Grand Funk Railroad, The Tubes, Daniel Amos, Kim Mitchell, all the GOOD so-called "Hair" bands, Canadian power trios everywhere, The Romantics, The Standells, The Resurrection Band, Journey, Twisted blanking Sister, Paul Revere and the Raiders, The Monkees (they were a big influence on the Beatles, you know), David Lee Roth (really should have been one of The Monkees, you know) the entire family tree of Deep Purple bands and their side projects, Mike Smith (DC5), Johnny Cash, The Smithereens, The Beatles, Motown, old U2, Night Ranger, Satriani, The Kings, King's X, Kings Of The Sun (pretty much any band with the word "King" in the title), INXS, Collective Soul, Big Wreck, The Virgos/Merlot, many more.

A little more to the right.

Pro-mark, Albuterol, Zildjian, O.P.Guitars, Neosporin and friends.

With his dying breath, my father whispered to me "Play like a Viking...scream like a Brit...write like an American." My father was truly one of the greatest bumper sticker and novelty tee-shirt authors of our time, and it is to honor him that we rock. Oh, and to rescue the future people for Wallace.