Parody of I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen

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For every girl who has rejected me through internet dating, this one's for you!

Turned on my Mac for some web date fun
Hit on fifty-eight girls, but heard back from none
It's been a real hard drive
Oh-oh-oh I'm archived

I promise, baby, to be good to you
But you like tall guys, and I'm 4 foot 2
Wish I could grow higher
Oh-oh-oh I'm archived

Well now, I'm not funny, don't work out, won't cook
or clean up scum--live in a one-bed unit
With my pet snail and my mum

But finally a girl who says she'll date me
She's got twelve kids, shingles, body
Odor, warts, and fleas
And her face, took a look and cried
Oh-oh-oh she's archived
Oh-oh-oh she's archived
Oh-oh-oh she's archived