The Archbishop of Twang
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play hi-fi  Sally (The Drunk Llama Song)
play hi-fi  The Bird Song
I am Dirk A. Keaton the Archbishop of Twang, resident comedy-rock/"bobcore" singer
-songwriter/maniac. I and my bands (The Last of the Southern Dandies and Sarong Nation) play our our own distinct blend of comedy rock. There's no politics, no one to mock, no punk kids or anybody else being made fun of, just pure, unbridled lunacy. We're the sort of band that will read a magazine article and call it lyrics. At the core of our sound is my immense void of talent and Gonynor's (My sometimes-guitarist) amazingly unfair share of it. While me and Gonynor (Who constitiute Archbishop of Twang and the Last of the Southern Dandies) usually play together, I sometimes hook up with Darren and DeWeet for some improvisational magic and rock 'n' roll renditions of folk songs with Sarong Nation. Listen to our music, it's doubleplusgood.
Why this name?
I was, origionally, a member of The Big Texas Workingman's String and Jug Orchestra (Me on Harmonica and Mike, a friend of mine, on Jew's Harp). We were a jugless jug band that did fairly well. However, we soon tired of those pursuits and broke up (and reunited again). However, I soon began looking towards a solo career and wrote two songs (Lady in a Wheelchair Riding in the Street Against the Flow of Traffic and Sharin' a Cab With God), and after a little while, began to call myself "The Archbishop of Twang" (I don't know why). Lady in a Wheelchair gained a little notoriety, and when I signed up for the local battle of the bands, Mike re-joined and so we became Archbishop of Twang and The Last of the Southern Dandies. We got Gonynor from Turkish Gold (A band in-concept) and won the battle. Fiori promptly left and so Gonynor and I stayed together as "Archbishop of Twang and the Last of the Southern Dandies" (I chose the name 'cause I always wanted to have the nickname, "The Last of the Southern Dandies"), and we've done pretty well, together. I got Daren to play with me for a month (When Gonynor was gone), and we called ourselves "Archbishop and Sarong Nation" (Cause we were supposed to be wearing Sarongs and forgot). We had a lotta fun making up a lotta stupid little songs (We later hired on DeWitt to play on the Sarong Nation part of the record).
Do you play live?
Sugar Land and Lubbock. Sugar Land blows, hard. Lubbock is the greatest town, ever.
How, do you think, does the internet (or mp3) change the music industry?
It makes it easier for people to listen to cool little bands like me, and makes it easier for cold, unfeeling bastards to listen to our album without paying us.
Would you sign a record contract with a major label?
I dunno, we really aren't music, and I really don't see myself playing music anytime soon. If they let me play unmusic, cool, if they demanded music, probably not.
Your influences?
Me-Springsteen, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, Daren Carter, Hank Williams, Big Brother and the Holding Company, The Modey Lemon, Myles of Destruction, John Lee Hooker, Howlin' Wolf, Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, Moses Guest, The Grateful Dead, Neil Young, Stevie Wonder, Pink Floyd, Thelonius Monk, Charles Mingus, Willie Nelson, Kenny Burrell, Albert King, Freddie King, B.B. King, David Grisman, The Jazz Mandolin Project, The Hindu Love Gods, Cream, Dire Straits, The Pouges, Prince, Leadbelly, Link Wray, and Shaft.

Gonynor-Jimmy Page and more Jimmy Page
Favorite spot?
I really wanna go to japan.
Equipment used:
I use a Gretsch Electromatic Jet (A superior Les Paul Junior Ripoff), Vox Amps, a Radioshack Highball 7 Mic (On a mic stand constructed of two poles lashed together) and sometimes and inferior Pansonic one, a Jim Dunlop Egg Shaker, a Kent Ukelele, a mini-organ I found at a garrage sale, a Accoutraments Mini-Accordian, Hohner and Lee Oskar Harps, A Hohner Nylon-String, and my raspy voice.

Gonyor and Daren both use identical Ibanez guitars (Cheesy LPJ-lookin' things), tho I got Daren to use an Epi Les Paul for the record (And a conquerer accoutic for live engagments). Gonynor uses Fat-Ass (An oversized Crate P.O.S. that makes him sound like hair metal), Daren uses a really big fender amp. DeWeet uses a Fender Jazz Bass and some sort of Fender Amp (As well as a double bass, a messid up toy drum kit, and some other things).