I wrote my name on a slip of paper and pulled it out of a hat.

I'm looking to... *ahem*

Uh...I think it sucks. Huh-huh.

Yes; I want to join the MTV2 rotation ranks so I can be amongst such "greats" as Fall Out Boy and Nickelback. Now, where did I put that barf bag...

I played some stuff. Then I played some more stuff. Apparently I was known as part of The Enlightened Monkeys and later Burning Michigan when I played this stuff. After this, I played some more stuff with The SS Shooters (http://www.soundclick.com/thessshooters) and now-defunct group The Zillionaries. Most recently, I've been collaborating with musician/audiologist Dave Rice on several recording projects and live gigs under the guise of "The Fuc King(s)". *


* 's' optional

Right now, I've been listening to a lot of Thelonius Monk, some John Coltrane, and underground classical-punk band Bela Lugosi. Yeah, I got street cred, bi***. What?

The middle school - so many attractive girls walk by me every day

Pipes, bongs, bottles, gravitys, mL measuring cups, bowls, shot glasses, one-hitters (funny story), straws, sandwiches, sugar cubes, gas masks, blenders, rolling papers, tabs, flower seeds

I'm only in it to write disposable pop sh*** and make millions of dollars with my generic and universally-accessible lyrics.