I didn't choose my name, my parents made the decision to call me by this title when I was a babe in arms. I think in retrospect I should have tried to assert my infantile authority and demand a different moniker, but I was too young (apparently - I don't know, I can't remember), so Glen Stephens it is.

I used to gig frequently but I suddenly woke up one morning much older than when I had gone to bed and thought: "Gadzooks! My cherubic looks and my snake hips have been replaced by drink-ravaged flesh and a rotund beer-belly respectively. What is to become of me"? Then I pondered things for a while and decided to take up a career that would not only give me immense pleasure but would reward me financially to boot - so I became a poilce informer (only 3rd grade at the moment, but if I can grass up old Mrs Wilberforce from down the road for allowing her library books to get overdue, I might be in line for promotion).

It wakes it up every morning at 7am with a cup of Darjeeling and a chocolate hob-knob.

Nope.

I used to be a rock star, you see. Many years ago I was in a band called The Beatles and we had massive success...no, wait - that was someone else.

There's no band. There's just me, a sad and forlorn little man lying on the floor in the foetus position weeping softly to myself.

Songwriters.
From the very earliest exponents of the art like Stephen Foster (who wrote 'Oh! Susanna', 'Swannee River' and 'Camptown Races' to name just three) and on through such illustrious names as Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, George and Ira Gershwin, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Hank Williams, Chuck Berry, Burt Bacharach, Lionel Bart, Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, Buddy Holly, Carol King, Brian Wilson, Pomus and Shuman and of course my personal favourites, Lennon and McCartney.

These are the people that I tug my forelock to.

Kent. South east of England (currently the only place in the northern hemisphere that will tolerate my loathesome company).

Mostly my fingers. They've been attached to my hands for as long as I can remember - and jolly useful things they are, too.