I woulda been a country singer, but I knew that I would fail/
My womanÕs never left me, and I never been in jail/
I grew up in the surburbs, our plumbing was indoors/
I graduated high school, and I never ran with whores.
I donÕt have the wherewithal to sing this country song/
I could lie about my misery but thatÕd be purely wrong/
I donÕt own no cowboy boots, no rolled-brim Stetson hat/
IÕll never be Kenney Chesney, and IÕm okay with that.
I donÕt like bourbon whiskey, IÕd rather drink white wine/
My SUV is running good and my dogs are feelinÕ fine/
My kids they grew up normal, except for a few tattoos/
And I donÕt go out gamblinÕ, Ôcause I got too much to lose.
When life handed me a lemon, well, I made lemonade/
My house it ainÕt a trailer, my taxes are all paid/
MamaÕs still with Daddy, moreÕn sixty years last fall/
I wonÕt sing with Dolly Parton, yÕknow, but I canÕt gripe at all.