Terrible Operation Blues
© Thomas A. Dorsey
Author: Georgia Tom Dorsey
Doc: All right, nurse, bring the next patient in.
Pt: (moaning)
Doc: Get up on this table, pull off that gown
Raise up that right leg, let that left one down
Pull off them stockings, that silk underwear
The doctor's got to cut you, mama, Lord knows where
You got two or three tumors, shaped like a cube
Two or three leaks in your inner tube
Bring on that ether, bring on that gas
The doctor's got to cut you, mama, yas, yas, yas
The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor know just what to do

Pt: Oh doctor, can I have just a little water?
Doc: Ssh, be quiet now, be quiet
Pt: Oh doctor, I'm so sick!
Doc: That's all right, the doctor ain't gonna hurt you
Pt: Can I have a little water, doctor?
Doc: After a while
Pt: Oh, what you gonna do with that long knife?
Doc: Oh, don't worry about that, that's just the doctor's tool
Pt: Oh doctor, what you gonna do with that saw?
Doc: Oh, we just take off legs with that
Pt: (moaning)
Doc: Be quiet, now
Now see, there you are, the doctor's through!
Pt: Oh doctor, what did you take out of me?
Doc: All right, I'll tell you now

Four monkey wrenches and a two horse-shay
Pt: (moan)
Doc: Pair of old britches and a bale of hay
Pt: (moan)
Doc: Your ribs was kinda loose, they moved about
If I hadn't of sewed you up, everything would fell out
Pt: (moan)
Doc: I put in new tubes, tightened the exhaust
I went into your hood and cleaned your spark plugs off
Your body's kinda weak, now don't be hard
From now on be careful with them connection rods
Pt: Alright, doctor!
Doc: The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do

Pt: Oh, gee, doctor, but I feel fine
Doc: Oh, that's fine
Pt: Say doctor, I feel like I wanna do a little messin' 'round
Doc: That so, go ahead!
Pt: Ooooh! Say doctor, that's good
Doc: Now that's the way patients do that come to this hospital

Your body's kinda weak, don't be hard
Go kinda easy with them connection rods
Pt: Alright, doctor!
Doc: The doctor knows to fix it, he knows just what to do