Glurk
©
Author:
When you live in Somerset but come from Yorkshireland
Your impenetrable dialect is hard to understand
So for all unlucky people who might cross paths with this hybrid
You might benefit from this advice, I know for sure that I did...

Sex, politics, religion will be absent from this song
It is all about the culinary terms that they get wrong
A word like 'glurk' might obfuscate you, leave you in a tiz
Because educated folk have no idea what it is

So let me tell you now
And let me show you how
With a small amount of research you'll eradicate confusion
Because 'glurk' is what you'll find in any culinary fusion

Glurk is what is added to a dish that we might savour
Herbs or spices, for example, help enhance the flavour
It is garlic, it is sauces, it is why the dish just works
Unless you palette's unrefined in which case it is glurk.



It's coleslaw, gravy, mayonnaise, it's hummus and it’s pesto
In fact I think it's anything that they choose to detest, so
Let's leave them in the dark because they'll never see the light
Cos what they know as 'glurk' we know as Culinary Delight.

So let me tell you now
And let me show you how
You learn from my mistakes, you might consider it a blessing
To know that they dismiss as glurk a simple salad dressing

Though many chefs are foreign they get treated like a quizzling
If a glurker gets a plate on which there’s evidence of drizzling
It's all meat and 2 veg, cheese and pickle, they have never flirted
With foreign muck, or haute cuisine or anything that's squirted

So let them call it glurk if that is really what they want
We know they won't be sitting next to us in any restaurant.